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Posts Liked by majesticbel

I exercise by running down my street knocking on all the doors...

Jehovah's Fitness.

12

This vodka tastes like I'll be texting you later.

17

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

572

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

Dear Ex..

When you see me, i want you to recognize what you had, regret what you've lost, and realize what you're never getting back.

Sincerly Me

388

I'm not perfect, but I'm always myself.

278

I never run with scissors.

Those last two words were unnecessary.

14

We all have that one skinny friend who eats more than an elephant.

48

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