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Posts Liked by midget

My worst fear is laughing at a joke I don't understand and having someone ask me to explain it.

44

I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can't have anymore food and I'm just never ready for that kind of commitment.

63

I don't do drugs or drink.

At my age, I get the same effect just standing up too fast.

244

What you need to know about men and women: Women are crazy and men are stupid. But the main reason women are crazy is because men are stupid.

39

Half of my feelings are doubts about the other half of my feelings.

232

Never change. Unless you're an asshole. Then you should probably change a little.

32

Sometimes I wonder if I ever cross your mind, then I laugh at myself for even wondering if I do... of course I do, I'm the shit.

25

Singing to a song you don't really know... But that 15 second part you do know is coming and your gonna own that shit.

42

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