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Posts Liked by mklp123

My 4 moods:

I am too old for this shit.

I am too sober for this shit.

I am too tired for this shit.

I don't have time for this shit.

48

I wish I had boobs so people would stop making eye contact with me.

146

that awkward moment when I'm drunk
and you're still ugly

478

I am one Candy Crush invite away from murdering someone.

386

A lot of people cry when they cut onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond.

396

Conserve energy by turning off the lights in the restroom while your coworker is taking a shit.

8

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

1

NO internet :(

SLOW internet
%#•!?*@#|£'

1

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