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Posts Liked by SimplyAzuri

If you ever feel powerless, remember that a single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a whole restaurant.

115

First dates are full of promise...

Like how he'll promise anything to get you into bed.

80

I don't believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something,

like it.

104

I need a glass of wine.
Or a bottle.
Or a winery in Italy.

185

Life is what happens to you when your internet data pack expires.

175

I TRY TO BE A
NICE PERSON...
BUT SOMETIMES
MY MOUTH
DOESN'T
COOPERATE.

219

Out of all of my body parts I feel like my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least a thousand eye rolls a day.

107

I'm single and I want a divorce.

102

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