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my milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard
but he's like i'm lactose intolerant

20

LET'S DO SOME "WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS" THINGS.

495

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.

534

Relationship Status:

( ) Single
( ) In a relationship
( ) Married
( ) Engaged
( ) Divorced
(x) Waiting for a miracle

70

what comes between sex and fear?

fünf!

13

Kid: Dear Santa, send me a brother!

Santa: Send me your mother.

50

Karma is like 69. You get what you give.

12

Headphones

(n.) A socially acceptable "I'm ignoring you" device.

17

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