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Posts Liked by teeprimett45

Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone's throat.

152

I don't watch soccer...

If I want to spend 90 minutes watching people struggling to score, I take my friends to a bar.

398

Anybody have any plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?

320

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

1

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

664

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

417

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

445

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

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