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Posts Liked by Terzzo

Always remember to be nice to people who have access to your toothbrush.

58

My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.

91

oh honey, I'm not insulting you,
I'm just describing you

55

why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

85

I had a great time last night...well thats what the police report says.

238

My Ex-Girlfriend had a really weird fetish.

She used to dress up as herself and then act like a fuckin bitch ALL the time!

22

I have an idea. Let's break into a newsroom wearing green morph suits and harass the weatherman. Nobody at home will have a clue why he's freaking out.

30

If one drop of semen contains more life than a drop of blood, why don't vampires suck cock? Oh... wait... Twilight.

21

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