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Posts Liked by the_princess

Light is easy to love.

Show me your darkness.

175

50% of marriages end in divorce.

100% of pizza deliveries end in happiness.

Pizza: 1
Love: 0

44

Friend: Yeah, I'm getting straight A's this semester and got accepted to 7 grad schools. Going to South Asia this summer.

Me: I didn't cry today.

49

Yeah a hot body is nice but so are those brownies over there.

31

Me: hey sorry I can't make it tomorrow.

Friend: aww what's wrong?

Me: I don't wanna come.

52

If a woman says 'do what you want', do not what you want. Stand still, do not blink, do not answer, don't even breathe, just play dead.

33

I can never go swimming because it's always less than 30 minutes since I've last eaten.

38

Yeah, I tried to order a burrito at the ATM. So what?

82

You're invited to ruin your swimsuit-ready body at my Memorial Day barbecue.

17

A flying cockroach is too powerful for humans

7

You can't play hard to get when you're already hard to want.

25

I just don't have the energy to shit butterflies and piss rainbows today.

178

All I know is one of us is right and the other one is you.

67

Spring is that delightful time of year when I watch Netflix with a window open.

51

I have achieved 0% of the summer body I aimed for.

18

If we talk after 12, our convos will get real personal.

12:00am: I like mac & cheese.

12:01am: I killed a man once.

31

Only two phrases can change a woman's mood:

1. I love you.
2. 50% off.

23

A great way to avoid consuming extra calories after 9:00p.m. is to eat an entire tub of ice cream at 8:53p.m.

22

Do your squats, wing your eyeliner, and don't take shit from a bitch.

22

Not everyone you lose is a loss..

Unless it's me, then you just fucked up.

59

On a scale of 1 to 10, my patience is at a Fuck You.

36

I require 100% of your attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Thanks.

25

I always start phone conversations with "my phone is about to die.." just so people don't waste my time.

70

you don't know how much someone is worth to you

until you sell them

37

No I can't go to the gym, I'm in the fitness protection program.

43

Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out??

34

Dirty.

- All my thoughts.

45

Calm down gas tank.We're all empty on the inside.

35

I'm not as random as you think I salad.

25

Me: I wanna look good today.
Body: No.
Hair: Nope.
Face: Nice try.

85

You're not fat! C'mon, chin up.

No, the other one...

31

When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing"
It does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

56

It's not the dress that makes you look fat....

... it's the fat!

163

The
difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza •

147

I HATE BEING
BIPOLAR
IT IS AWESOME

340

100% of non-
smokers die too.

213

Some say

Without you
I'm incomplete

But that's not true

Without you
I'm nothing

25

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

... and my heart started to beat

3

You know, long distance relationships are so hard, especially since my boyfriend lives in the future!

197

It's not a walk of shame if you leave with a moonwalk.

78

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