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Posts Liked by UndaDictionary

for every snowflake that falls, there is an idiot who forgets how to drive

76

the
Grinch line

1-800 SPANK ME

15

mum: i think i have colon cancer.

me: mother are you serious right now, why do you say that?

mum: there's blood in my poop. i'm saving it to show dr. shaw.

me: well this is too much for me to handle.

mum: oh jay, if you're squimish don't look!

me: and we're walking!!!

mum: so that's a no on going to hospital tomorrow.

me: you would be correct.

14

She keeps her past in an open box

6

Never stop believing that something beautiful can happen to you too.

24

i have this bumper sticker that says "honk if you think i'm sexy" and then i wait at green lights until i feel better about myself.

137

welcome to the state where you can get sunburn and frostbite in the same week!

4

(?° ?? ?°)

75

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