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Posts Liked by viviancui

my girlfriend told me to go out and get her something that makes her look sexy.

So I came back drunk.

13

I changed all my passwords to "incorrect" so whenever I forget, the system will tell me "your password is incorrect."

23

choose two of these:
••••••••••••••••••••••••

a job that's fun

a job that pays well

a job thats legal

••••••••••••••••••••••••

...see?

28

they called me stupid.
I called them an ambulance.

38

what's the difference between a homeless guy and a hipster?

-the iPhone

105

Pretty girls turn heads.

I break necks.

1

If you're in a fairytale and you're a single woman over the age of 35, chances are you're evil.

224

Lust is saturday night; Love is sunday morning.

180

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