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Posts Liked by waharaina

It's funny because people think I'm quiet but I'm just listening to everyones convos and figuring out your weaknesses to destroy you later in life.

65

Person: you're blocking the view.

Me: I am the view.

48

If traveling was free you'd never see me again.

56

How am I suppose to make big life decisions when I still have to sing the alphabet in my head to get to the right letter.

58

Never hint to a printer that you're in a rush. Those bastards smell fear.

78

People who remind me of myself are the worst

167

Relationship goals: a relationship

46

If a girl says "ok have fun." Do not have fun. Abort mission. I repeat. Abort mission.

68

I love sleeping to avoid
problems.

31

First woman on the moon:
"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind."
What's the problem?
"Nothing."
Please tell us?
"I'm fine."

87

It's Thursday, or as I like to call it:

Day 4 of the hostage situation.

82

Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "in HD" was not the right answer...

345

Trees are better than people

12

quit your job
travel the world
die happy

173

The key to a long relationship:
keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

52

I have a boyfriend.
Wait no,
that's a fridge.
I have a fridge.

66

I would want to be with you even if i had a reverse button in my life.

12

i wonder...

do chinese tourists know that the souvineers they're buying are from China.

32

Anything you say will be used against you, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I'm a woman.

And we never forget.

Anything.

Ever.

38

I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.

26

My mouth tastes like I made bad decisions last night.

30

we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

3

renamed my ipod the Titanic, so when i plug it in, it says "the Titanic is syncing" he he

57

everyone would be rich without money.

8

Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.

58

ladies, if you think your man is cheating take him to that bitch's frontdoor and see if his wifi connects automatically

108

isn't it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that's just like
"i don't know how to hold a pencil"

90

It's like I'm the only drunk person at this yoga class.

105

sometimes i feel useless then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants

3

there is no
substitute
for the thrill
of a human
touch

83

Happy Monday!

Unless we used to date.

13

the whole world dreaming at the same time.

2

You're as annoying as that app that turns sideways when I lay down.

139

My week in a nutshell:
Monday
Monday Two
Monday Three
Monday Four
Friday
Saturday
Pre-Monday

71

Doubt kills more ideas than failure ever will.

221

for halloween this year we should all just dress up as who we really are

nobody would recognize anyone

98

And I just want to tell you, it takes everything in me not to call you, and I wish I could run to you, and I hope you know that every time I don't,

I almost do.

67

I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka.

90

My biography will be titled "Be Yourself And Other Ways To Stay Single."

100

I HATE BEING
BIPOLAR
IT IS AWESOME

340

Never
make eye contact while eating banana.

339

Sorry, but your password must contain a capital letter, two numbers,
a symbol, an inspiring message, a spell,
a gang sign,
a hieroglyph and the blood of a virgin.

170

she's a mess of gorgeous chaos & you can see it in her eyes.

59

Sometimes I feel useless but then
I remember
I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

115

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

82

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
AND MAYBE
A LITTLE BIT NAKED.

265

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

148

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.

286

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

270

i've
fallen
in love
with you,

but you
don't exist.

234

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

367

So absorbed in
memories, I forget
to make new ones.

21

it's not a Sunday unless you completely waste it then feel really sad around 8pm

337

Potatoes give us french fries and vodka.

It's your move, celery.

231

Life is like a Bollywood movie: colorful, humorous, and usually you have no idea what the fuck is going on.

289

It's funny to me that some people have to get drunk to send texts they regret.

31

getting no message is also a message...

258

for halloween this year we should all just dress up as who we really are

nobody would recognize anyone

211

I like people the way I like my tea.

I hate tea.

236

One day I would like to hit the refresh button and actually feel refreshed.

6

If you asked me how many times you have crossed my mind I would say once, because you never really left.

289

Caffeine isn't a drug but an essential vitamin

9

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

I just suck at fishing.

25

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, you're brave enough to ask that girl out.

217

eat like no one is watching

or drink. dance.
whatever.

13

One of my biggest fears is sneezing while eating mexican food at your funeral.

4

This year I'm secretly stuffing the turkey with marijuana so everyone can relax and enjoy my cooking for once.

164

Got defeated by the advent calendar.

Can't find door number 2.

11

That moment between Netflix episodes where you see your reflection on the black screen and wonder what the fuck you're doing with your life

234

OUR COMFORT ZONE IS OUR PRISON

19

Let's get drunk
and tell each other how
we really feel •

248

If you didn't want me to build a pancake catapult why did you leave me unsupervised for 4 and a half minutes?

40

If a man is talking in a forest and no woman can hear him

is he still wrong?

32

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.

20

walk up to the
club like
WHAT UP
i have social
anexiety and i
want to go
home...

25

I've made
it from
the Bed
to the Couch...
Theres no stopping me now ;-)

22

$pretty amazing how "dumb" and "math class" have the same number of letters$

35

Today I don't feel like doing anything.

Except you, I'd do you.

45

I haven't cursed all day.

I'm a fucking gentleman.

26

When a guy calls you hot he's looking at your body.
When a guy calls you pretty he's look at your face.
When a guy calls you beautiful he's looking at your heart.

All three guys still want to fuck you though.

68

So drunk I just tried to plug my milk into the wall because it said 2%

89

maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate just one time

58

You never realize how
lonely you are until it's
the end of the day and
you got a bunch of stuff
to talk about and no one
to tell it to.

45

You can tell a lot about a womans mood just by her hands.

For example, if she's holding a gun, shes probably angry.

71

It's like I'm the only drunk person at this yoga class.

279

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