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Posts Liked by william

Its too hot

*opens window*

in comes: 20 flies,
8 spiders,
17 daddy long legs,
50 moths,
3 dragons
and 12 Jehovahs witnesses.

86

I jumped on the couch and heard a cracking sound.

Thank God it was only the cat.

60

if you think women are the weaker sex try pulling the blankets back to your side

94

THIS IS THE BEGINNING
OF
ANYTHING
YOU WANT.

112

Eating cereal in the shower isn't saving me as much time as I thought.

65

sleeping
naked burns more
calories

81

It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones.

I'm always like "I love you" and they're like "Uhm..thank you for choosing Romans Pizza..."

80

if energy can neither be created nor destroyed, what if our souls are a fragmented collection of other people's souls from the past and future? what if our dreams are their memories?

233

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