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Posts Liked by Yard

teeth:
because blow jobs need to come with a gentle reminder of who's really in charge

95

YOU SHOULD STOP TELLING LIES ABOUT ME.

OR I WILL START TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU.

144

Me: for Christmas I
want a unicorn.

Santa: be realistic!

Me: ok I want a
boyfriend.

Santa: what colour do
you want your
unicorn?

153

life should be more like hockey. when someone pisses you off, you just beat the shit out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.

97

New Yeah

59

I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot."

136

Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.

121

it's hard to soar like an eagle when you run around with turkeys!

1

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