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MeMyselfAnd..I

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MeMyselfAnd..I

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

169

A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.

Unless it's 3am.

And you're home alone.

And you don't have a baby.

229

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

203

Sometimes I feel useless but then
I remember
I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

114

Music is life. That's why our hearts have beats.

122

My goal for 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013 which I should've done in 2012 because I promised them in 2011 and planned in 2010.

101

The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains".

Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever.

61

My favorite mythical creature is the happy bitch in tampon commercials.

37

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