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t_treeman

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t_treeman

i'm wearing my friday socks.

they're like normal socks, but they're ready to party.

83

recently, i called my mother at 3 am. just to let her know how it is, when she calls me on sunday 1 pm.

74

took a nude photo of myself. with the lights off.

you're welcome.

34

life should be more like hockey. when someone pisses you off, you just beat the shit out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.

22

i saw a spider in my bathtub, so i got a piece of tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.

50

i'm super lazy today.

which is like normal lazy, but i'm also wearing a cape.

18

once upon a time a man asked a fairy to make him irresistable & desirable to all women.

she turned him into a credit card. the end.

33

instead of cleaning the house, i just turn off the lights.

30

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