Trending Posts

DEAR GOD,


PLEASE SEND CLOTHES TO THOSE POOR LADIES ON DADDY'S COMPUTER.
While it's crucial to be considerate of others, it's also reasonable to expect that individuals approach interactions with a degree of resilience and an awareness that not everyone may share the same views or experiences.
UNKEYBOARDINATED:    self-explanatory
UNFARE:  amount of money you owe a cab driver before you've moved an inch
EYE BROCCOLI:  opposite of eye candy; someone really ugly looking
WHEN YOU SAID FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS....
I ASSUMED YOU OWNED A LIQUOR STORE?

Consumption can never be satisfied because the logic of the consumable object demands the creation of new insatiable needs.
* at a  job interview *

"Can you perform under pressure?"

Me: "I'm not sure I know all the lyrics, but here goes nothing..."
For lorn
For get
For give
For ever
I don't need a destination to going places. I'll find where i have to be.
RELIGIOUS SPIRITS WILL ALWAYS DISAGREE AND DEBATE WITH THE SPIRIT OF FAITH.
My kids want a cat for Christmas.

...I usually do a turkey, but hey, whatever they want, right?
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE YOUR MOTHER IN LAW FOR CHRISTMAS....


HER SON BACK !!
YESTERDAY I WAS WASHING THE CAR WITH MY SON? 
HE SAID: WHY CAN'T YOU USE A SPONGE LIKE A NORMAL DAD?!?
I LIKE TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH. IN SOME WAY,  IT HELPS ME  KNOW THAT SOMEONE NEEDS MY FKD UP SENSE OF HUMOUR TO CHEER THEM UP!!

you are my friend if you know me well and like me despite everything
THE REASON WHY OUR FAMILIES ARE NOT THE SAME ANYMORE,  IS BECAUSE WE BURIED THE ONES WHO USED TO KEEP FAMILY TOGETHER.
What 
do you call 
Santa taking a break?

A Santa Pause.

Ha ha ha ha ha

Ofrkjr
I really need a day between Sunday and Monday...
SHOULDA  COULDA  WOULDA   the 3 duh brothers - they used to date the Lee sisters: UG, HOME AND LONE

Don't spend too long in the company of psychopaths.
a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle
CATERPALLOR:  the color you turn upon finding half a worm in the piece of fruit youre eating
INTAXICATION:  euphoria you feel upon getting a tax return... until you remember it was your money to begin with

 Eye contact
 is more
 intimate
 than words
  will ever be.



I  can  chew walk and gum at the same time




Beware the 'Orange Jesus'



my oxidation  is high and so am  I




I don't know how I keep  going but I  just do
a woman must do something twice as well as a man in order to be considered half as good.....fortunately, this is not difficult ;-)
mediocrity killed the cat
if you think pushing 40 is hard, wait until you start dragging it