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I'm not waiting nor
searching for my
other half because
I'm not a fuckin' half!

21

I'm just like one of your dudes but better because vagina.

20

Women do not have to:

- Be thin
- Cook for you
- Wear makeup
- Have sex with you
- Shave
- Wear pink
- Have a vagina

18

He dated you for over 5 years,
slept with you countless times,
hurt you, and he's also the
reason why you've got sagged
boobs. Not to mention he made
your "whatever" wider, and still
he refuses to marry you?

Sweetheart, poison him
God will understand.

16

So, did Trump ban penguins from flying or nah?

8

If you have 2 choices,
and take 1 away,
you have 0 choices.

8

I can't even show you my skin
Because it will raise too many questions.

So now I have to hide the inside, AND the outside.

9

An ice cream vendor was found lying on the floor of his van, covered with hundreds and thousands.

Police say that he topped himself.

8

If humans were fabric, I would be made up of a million patches.

7

CHUCK NORRIS

3

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