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what if all of the indiana jones movies are just dreams that han solo has while he's frozen in carbonate?




Do more things that
make you forget to
check your phone




I'm spending the year dead
for tax reasons


Managing is just great prompt engineering...

with a human touch.




I want treats, cuddles,naps
and exercise

Basically I am a puppy
never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group.
“Wisdom is the echo of experience.”

James Clear
I met my wife at a singles night.


...I was surprised, as I thought she was at home with the kids.

DON'T OFFER A LECTURE TO A PERSON WHO NEEDS A HUG .
MAY DO ABORTION OPPONENTS ACTUALLY EAT EGGS?
This house will never feel like home




Your secrets safe with me



I probably wasn't listening
YEAH THAT'S RIGHT,
SIMBA,
MAKUNA MY TATAS



     •¿•





A liar will get angry with 
you for knowing the truth
*   *  **             B     *o      *
  *            ^   *   * 
             /   \         *  *  *
  *         I__ l             d   *    *
 l          I      l
            I      l        o
          /        \
        / /Illll\ \         m
      / /   00  \ \              a
              00                          t
               00               i    
                00                    c

Our imagination takes flight!!!!
IT'S AMAZING HOW FAST YOUR  
MOOD CAN CHANGE AFTER YOU STEP IN WATER WITH SOCKS ON!!
When you lose track of time, things begin to flow.



You can throw all the shade
you want. 

It's still sunny in my world.
IF YOU'VE NEVER JUMPED FROM ONE COUCH TO THE OTHER TO AVOID THE LAVA YOU'VE NEVER HAD A CHILDHOOD!!
EVERY
EXIT
IS
AN ENTRANCE TO SOMEWHERE
ELSE...




You know you're old
when you get up in
the morning and the
first thing you do is
make noise.





Happy Earth Day



Enjoy Earth while you can





Don't hesitate.
fumigate.


Before you fuck a person,
you should first make them
use a computer with slow
internet to see who they
really are
I HATE THE FACT THAT I CRY WHEN I'M FRUSTRATED

PEOPLE THINK THEY HURT MY FEELINGS, WHEN I'M JUST TRYING NOT TO KILL THEM.
Alone














                                                    
                                                          on the phone.

only lecture people who can't read
Ah, Springtime...

The time I can stop wearing thick socks

And start going outdoors nude.

     all
  yours



Thank you for pushing
Through the thicket of my words
To find their meaning.

broken hearts never die, some only wish they could
Don't hesitate

Defenestrate
all superheroes are villains if you're a construction worker.

always at your side, call 24/7


signed: Death

the only normal people are those I still will get to know

a lie is a concept depending on the witnesses
















In an ideal world there is no ideal.

fake it till you make it



I used to have a handle
on life, but then it broke


Before you fuck a person,
you should first make them
use a computer with slow
internet to see who they
really are




You know you're old
when you get up in
the morning and the
first thing you do is
make noise.



You can throw all the shade
you want. 

It's still sunny in my world.




I'm spending the year dead
for tax reasons
IF YOU'RE FEELING A SUDDEN CALM. IT'S BECAUSE I TOOK YOUR VOODOO DOLL OUT FOR A PICNIC ON A GRASSY HILL.          YOU'RE WELCOME!!!




                      U.S.A.
         Support Ukraine

to shape the winds to your will, eat a lot of beans first
I do not cut people out of my life because I am mad at them. I cut people out of my life who abuse me, traumatize me, or bring out the worst in me.
Dear Women,

Men like women that drive them crazy (in a good way) and not women who are crazy. Note the subtle differences and utilize this information to your advantage.

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today 
or 
naked tomorrow
You look like something 
I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, 
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.





     LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people,  because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food 

they say the ones you love hurt you the most


THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.


If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty 


and I could not have described it any better
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. 
But I would rather be alone with you.
i've
fallen
in love
with you,

but you
don't exist.