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what if all of the indiana jones movies are just dreams that han solo has while he's frozen in carbonate?
Do more things that make you forget to check your phone
I'm spending the year dead for tax reasons
Managing is just great prompt engineering... with a human touch.
I want treats, cuddles,naps and exercise Basically I am a puppy
never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group.
“Wisdom is the echo of experience.” James Clear
I met my wife at a singles night. ...I was surprised, as I thought she was at home with the kids.
DON'T OFFER A LECTURE TO A PERSON WHO NEEDS A HUG .
MAY DO ABORTION OPPONENTS ACTUALLY EAT EGGS?
This house will never feel like home
Your secrets safe with me I probably wasn't listening
YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, SIMBA, MAKUNA MY TATAS •¿•
A liar will get angry with you for knowing the truth
* * ** B *o * * ^ * * / \ * * * * I__ l d * * l I l I l o / \ / /Illll\ \ m / / 00 \ \ a 00 t 00 i 00 c Our imagination takes flight!!!!
IT'S AMAZING HOW FAST YOUR MOOD CAN CHANGE AFTER YOU STEP IN WATER WITH SOCKS ON!!
When you lose track of time, things begin to flow.
You can throw all the shade you want. It's still sunny in my world.
IF YOU'VE NEVER JUMPED FROM ONE COUCH TO THE OTHER TO AVOID THE LAVA YOU'VE NEVER HAD A CHILDHOOD!!
EVERY EXIT IS AN ENTRANCE TO SOMEWHERE ELSE...
You know you're old when you get up in the morning and the first thing you do is make noise.
Happy Earth Day Enjoy Earth while you can
Don't hesitate. fumigate.
Before you fuck a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are
I HATE THE FACT THAT I CRY WHEN I'M FRUSTRATED PEOPLE THINK THEY HURT MY FEELINGS, WHEN I'M JUST TRYING NOT TO KILL THEM.
Alone on the phone.
only lecture people who can't read
Ah, Springtime... The time I can stop wearing thick socks And start going outdoors nude.
all yours
Thank you for pushing Through the thicket of my words To find their meaning.
broken hearts never die, some only wish they could
Don't hesitate Defenestrate
all superheroes are villains if you're a construction worker.
always at your side, call 24/7 signed: Death
the only normal people are those I still will get to know
a lie is a concept depending on the witnesses
In an ideal world there is no ideal.
fake it till you make it
I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke
Before you fuck a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are
You know you're old when you get up in the morning and the first thing you do is make noise.
You can throw all the shade you want. It's still sunny in my world.
I'm spending the year dead for tax reasons
IF YOU'RE FEELING A SUDDEN CALM. IT'S BECAUSE I TOOK YOUR VOODOO DOLL OUT FOR A PICNIC ON A GRASSY HILL. YOU'RE WELCOME!!!
U.S.A. Support Ukraine
to shape the winds to your will, eat a lot of beans first
I do not cut people out of my life because I am mad at them. I cut people out of my life who abuse me, traumatize me, or bring out the worst in me.
Dear Women, Men like women that drive them crazy (in a good way) and not women who are crazy. Note the subtle differences and utilize this information to your advantage.
It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today or naked tomorrow
You look like something I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying, "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT
If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.
If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal Listening to them - common Arguing with them - acceptable Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food they say the ones you love hurt you the most
THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
justice is a beautiful concept. unicorns too.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it any better
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. But I would rather be alone with you.
i've fallen in love with you, but you don't exist.
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