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If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say,

I would be poor.

25

First of all i'm not "married", i'm just married!

15

I wish you miss me like I miss you.

13

What is worse than a politician as president?

Mr. Red Hat.

That's that.

12

i know sex. how to sex. keep a sex. dumb ass sex. like you sex. busy for sex. 15 seconds sex. read again without sex.

10

All I ever wanted was your heart, you dumbass

3

hello darkness
my old friend

7

I don't need the last laugh...

I've been laughing at your dumb ass the entire time!!

5

HA!
I just saw the new mission.
I was wondering why everyone was so bored today.

5

To the group of 600K yuck-nuts pledged to 'storm Area 51' in August - yeah, good luck with that. Nary a life lost or bullet fired, but they will be stopped. And likely never try anything like that ever again.

4

"do you have a gun? for all these dumbasses??!!"

"unfortunately not. maybe there is an app for that..?!"

3

When you say you're using BlackBerry Smartphone.
People look upon you as if you are from StoneAge (-_-)

3

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