Armyhu's Posts

i have this bumper sticker that says "honk if you think i'm sexy" and then i wait at green lights until i feel better about myself.

Reposted from jaybyrd

jaybyrd likes this

Sushi is Japanese for 'you'll still be hungry'.

Reposted from bold

I can't wait to hide all the Easter candy for the kids inside my stomach.

Reposted from est24601

My head says
"WHO CARES"
and my heart replies
"YOU DO STUPID"

Reposted from WordNerd

WordNerd likes this

I dont have exes, I have Y's. Y the fuck did I date you?

Reposted from tk93

roses are red

violets are blue

vodka is cheaper
than dinner for two

Reposted from hirondelle

roses are red

violets are blue

vodka is cheaper
than dinner for two

Reposted from hirondelle

whatever.

I'll just
date
myself.

Reposted from dreamworld

dreamworld likes this

My relationship is like my pet turtle, I don't have a pet turtle.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

Its better to have nobody, than to have someone who is half there, or doesnt want to be there.

Reposted from dreamworld

dreamworld likes this

If we are not meant to have midnight snacks...

...why is there a light in the fridge?

Reposted from BJcore

If you don't have anythig nice to say, come sit by me and we'll make fun of peope together.

Reposted from kj55

kj55 likes this

i just tried to kill a spider with hairspray, he still alive but his hair looks outstanding.

#christinarants

Reposted from christiiiromeo

my "i hate you" face must look very similar to my "tell me more" face.
i'll have to work on that.

Reposted from beesmoove

Please be aware of which
personality
is in charge before
asking me a
question.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

There's no nutella left...

Reposted from anonymous

Gabbem likes this

Whenever I think, "I'm gonna regret this in the morning..."
I make sure to sleep in until noon the next day, because I'm a problem solver.

Reposted from anonymous

i like
people
who smile
when it's
raining.

Reposted from EmilyTudor

A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.

Unless it's 3am.

And you're home alone.

And you don't have a baby.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

If you wanna feel in heaven

enter a library

Reposted from againandagain

I don't watch soccer.

If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I'd take my friends out to a bar.

Reposted from MissB

The truth is, airports have seen more sincere kisses than wedding halls.
The walls of hospitals have heard more whispers of prayers than churches.

Reposted from SaraJensen17

I don't want to be that Barbie girl who married the prince.

I want to be Wonder Woman and hang out with Batman!

Reposted from coco03

coco03 likes this

I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE OR JUST A NEW HAIRCUT.

Reposted from Akatrine

twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door

Reposted from againandagain

WE SHOULD SPEND LESS MONEY FOR WORLD CUP AND MORE MONEY FOR WORLD PEACE.

Reposted from Akatrine

You'd better listen to your heart because I think your mind is fucked.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

_Nathalie_ likes this

I've never seen a Mcdonalds or a Burger King under construction.

They just show up.

Reposted from iheartcheese

You can't force someone to love you

You can just close him into the basement and wait until he develops the Stockholm syndrome

Reposted from Babs_77

Babs_77 likes this

I think
you're suffering from a
lack of vitamin me.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?

Reposted from janaa

Anybody have any plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?

Reposted from cubjurholt

Anybody have any plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?

Reposted from cubjurholt

So, I think it's about time we get honest with children about how they're bad at most things.

Reposted from bold

if you walk a mile in my shoes you'll end up at the bar.

Reposted from sunrheaa13

#susy

No matter what kind of instant noodles you buy, they all taste like poverty and loneliness.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart..
but the very next day you said you were gay •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Lirpae.. likes this

n.schi likes this

home is where the fridge is empty

Reposted from bold

bold likes this

When people tell me "you're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep untill late afternoon because I'm a problem solver.

Reposted from Luenchen

Luenchen likes this

Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about.

Reposted from anonymous

kj55 likes this

When a man says you're ugly, he's just being mean. When a woman says you're ugly, she's just jealous. When a child says you're ugly, you're ugly.

Reposted from anonymous

Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while you are waiting.

Reposted from anonymous

kolarg likes this

i want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
then you walk into a pole.

Reposted from sissy_and_bros

sissy_and_bros likes this

cheers to the men we love
and the jerks we got.

Reposted from mariechen_xo

mariechen_xo likes this

Lord please give me patience, because if you give me strength i may just beat someone to death...

Hermosillo, Mexico

A.M. likes this

"I don't think I could stab anyone. Let's be honest, I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun".

Reposted from misterlab

leave my head
or
start paying rent

Reposted from sarcaSM

sarcaSM likes this

Who hid the cheddar in my shoes?

Reposted from bold

Ups...just got caught peeing in the swimming pool. The damn lifeguard shouted so loud, I almost fell in.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

you ever feel about as useful as

the number nine on a microwave?

Reposted from spoon

Listening to someone's heartbeat.

Reposted from anonymous

_Nathalie_ likes this

Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

Reposted from bold

janem803, _Nathalie_, bold and guido like this

if energy can neither be created nor destroyed, what if our souls are a fragmented collection of other people's souls from the past and future? what if our dreams are their memories?

Reposted from permanentwaves

Armyhu and _Nathalie_ like this

if energy can neither be created nor destroyed, what if our souls are a fragmented collection of other people's souls from the past and future? what if our dreams are their memories?

Reposted from permanentwaves

_Nathalie_ likes this

The creative adult is the child who survived.

Reposted from bold

Armyhu likes this

ironic is wanting to forget about someone who used to make you forget about everything

Reposted from Armyhu

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

Reposted from bold

A.M. and guido like this

ironic is wanting to forget about someone who used to make you forget about everything

janem803, Hottiheather, tweetybird, bold and RulesOfLife like this

reposted by Armyhu, RulesOfLife, Hottiheather and Hottiheather

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

Reposted from bold

Armyhu, GaylrdSprFckr and bold like this

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

Reposted from bold

Armyhu, bold and danyol like this

If fantasy was realistic -
reality would be fantastic.

Reposted from lilymarlen

danyol likes this

I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings.

I'm a drunk, we go to parties.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

UserOne, danyol and A.M. like this

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

Reposted from bold

danyol likes this

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

Reposted from bold

danyol likes this

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

Reposted from bold

danyol likes this

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

Reposted from bold

danyol likes this

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

Reposted from bold

danyol likes this

Design is so simple, that's why it is so complicated.

Reposted from hebdifescht

Armyhu likes this

Home sweet mess.

Reposted from loryane

A push up bra is like a bag of chips:
You open it and it's half empty...

Seven Crap Hours Of Our Lives

S.C.H.O.O.L.

Boundries don't keep people out, instead, they fence you in.

janem803 likes this

My favourite part of attending a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka...

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

life is a mirror of your actions

I HATE BEING
BIPOLAR
IT IS AWESOME

Reposted from Boldomatic

Forever drunk, i want to be forever drunk...(original lyrics)

i hate being on meds... can't drink anything to forget

mjf and Armyhu like this

BEAST
MODE

» ON

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

pasquale85 likes this

fck memories, i wish i could break up with them too...

Lirpae.. likes this

what if you just started licking the dentists fingers while they were in your mouth...

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

alcohol makes friends, but weed keeps them

Sven and itsmacailaann like this

you smile in crisis?
then you have someone to blame

hardest question to answer truthfully: how are you?

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

Reposted from Boldomatic

Those who criticize our generation seem to forget who raised it.

Reposted from anonymous

a mosquito landed on my balls... hardest decision of my life

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

i'll be there in 10min. if you see i'm running late, reread this mssg.

janem803, d33d33, Hottiheather, rockboyjoey and bold like this

reposted by Hottiheather and Hottiheather

F CK.
i just need U

Reposted from samir

It was all a dream.

Reposted from MrJoeBanks

bold likes this