LordoftheWhys's Posts

what goes around comes around unless you get vaccinated

petegutz2 and CurrentNobody like this

Cancel
cop
culture

CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

The pandemic is not unprecedented; but we do have the unpresident presiding over it.

Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

We can throw Trump out with the other Jack - o-lanterns now!

Fionacatherine, swatchUSA and CurrentNobody like this

... and now the yellow sun is rising over the long orange night.

Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody and roosterbear like this

Americans of Latin - American decent is like Jewish or black Americans voting for David Duke. It just doesn't make sense.

Historians will describe 2020 as the year that jumped the shark.

CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

I used to say, the worst person to vote into political office is a politician, and then four years ago happened. I was wrong.

#govote

CurrentNobody, busylizzie and roosterbear like this

person, woman, man, camera, TV, orange president, deadly pandemic, murder hornets, killer cops...

CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

wow. per capita, compared to the general population, the largest concentration of sex offenders are the police. that's a fact.

Rittenhouse is a vile punk ass murderer who, at the moment, changes me to in favor of the death penalty. kill the right wing monster. I may change my mind tomorrow but tonight I'd do it myself with my bare hands.

busylizzie and Fionacatherine like this

the Q in qanon = Quack

roosterbear and CurrentNobody like this

Do you think Jenny McCarthy knew she'd be contributing/causing to possibly thousands of American covid-19 deaths when she foolishly turned people against life saving vaccines? More than a third of surveyed people say they will refuse any future pandemic vaccine.

#fact

It's not a plandemic, it's a stupidemic.

CurrentNobody likes this

At this rate, the South shall fall again.

CurrentNobody likes this

To all those I know who voted for him, I say to you plainly :
I told you so.

swatchUSA and CurrentNobody like this

today : Trump deployed US troops against US citizens on US soil. Those troops did it. Someone needs to kill that monster. Please! For all our sakes!

There's our boy trump, making shit up again.

CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

Of course you think there's nothing to worry about. When you make it so the world revolves around you, it is everyone else suffering from all the g-forces.

Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

in response to protests against police, multiple police departments are responding by more and escalating police violence.

whiskey tango alpha foxtrot

did we awake in bizarro world? is it opposite day? is it just Trump's Amurrikkka?

CurrentNobody likes this

... he saved our lives

ACT-UP
Fight back
Rest In Peace

Larry Kramer

roosterbear, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

Government
by the people,
for the people,
not
by Trump, against the people.

CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

how would I describe his voice : like chainsaws on a chalkboard, only a masochist enjoyed hearing his drone, and droning on and on he liked to do, on subjects, generally, only of interest to him and assaulting his cornered listener like an incessant leaf blower to the face ; that voice would wake the sleeping in other rooms, their ears tensed and sore as if from the staccato stutter of a jackhammer in a construction site that has suddenly appeared and taken up activity in the next yard.

roosterbear and CurrentNobody like this

History is not always written by the victors; often, history is written by the survivors.

roosterbear, JodieT, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

Here is my Venn Diagram: Trump
= death to Trump

JodieT, Fionacatherine and Ziya like this

I've taken up smoking cigarettes again for chance of discouraging this pandemic virus and, as crazy as that sounds, it still makes more sense and has more actual facts about it than anything uttered from the president's orange face. True story.

Ziya, roosterbear, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

FOX
(fiction
of
xtreme)
NEWS

Fionacatherine, busylizzie and CurrentNobody like this

The president is NOT above the law, however, the president SHOULD be above reproach.

perellano, busylizzie and Fionacatherine like this

POTUS is a murder ; he should be treated like one.

#potus

CurrentNobody likes this

what is orange and round and makes no sense when it speaks and isn't Qbert?

#potus

swatchUSA, CurrentNobody, JodieT, roosterbear and LordoftheWhys like this

POTUS PARTY
BYOB
(bring your own bleach)

#potus

timothy21, swatchUSA, roosterbear, JodieT, CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

POTUS
A cautionary tale wherein no one took heed. Coming to a pandemic near you.

#potus

roosterbear, JodieT, CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

experts suggest this pandemic may create a baby boom. we'll refer to them as Generation Covid.

swatchUSA and CurrentNobody like this

CurrentNobody likes this

#ewww

You may be happy with him, but I'm not. That president is a snake.

Fionacatherine likes this

The Precedent* keeps standing at podiums crowing, essentially, 'he's the king of the world!' like he's Leo. 1st thought: bad metaphor; the Titanic sank. 2nd thought: ironically good metaphor; I just hope I didn't get into my lifeboat too late.

If you could eliminate Covid-19 by sacrificing one human being, who would it be and why do you choose Donald Trump?

Fionacatherine likes this

"If Donald Trump becomes president, he will kill us all..."
-SNL
funny then; now true

hey trump voters, how ya like him now?

enough lying; enough pandering; enough idiocy; enough faking it; enough absence of qualification; enough ego; enough orange - nosing; enough Trump!

#enough

LordoftheWhys, Fionacatherine and Wuff like this

Yeah, I stepped on all those cracks and the broad didn't crack anything.

JodieT and CurrentNobody like this

ADMIT IT,
WE ALL HAVE TRIED TO BALANCE THE LIGHT SWITCH BETWEEN ON AND OFF

Reposted from busylizzie

CurrentNobody likes this

over its first three years in office, the Precedent has been busted for telling at least 16,241 lies in public, but, hey, who's counting. (That's a factual number void of hyperbole) (Seriously.)

#busted

JodieT likes this

I'm still trying to decide whether to call the Coronavirus The Holocough or The Kung Flu...

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

CurrentNobody and busylizzie like this

Hey, Mr Precedent Trump, is it pretty where you live or does it smell like an asshole, too?

Fionacatherine likes this

BEWARE

The AFTERMATH is
YET TO COME

#aftermath

Fionacatherine likes this

The heinous severity that the US finds itself on is the direct result of the domino effect, the first domino being put into place by misguided Americans in November of 2015; therefore, does the fault lie in the domino, or in the people who put it there?

Fionacatherine likes this

Keep
calm
and
stay at
home

roosterbear, CurrentNobody and busylizzie like this

Keep
calm
and
stay at
home

CurrentNobody and busylizzie like this

Keep
calm
and
stay at
home

CurrentNobody and busylizzie like this

garbage-trump tried to coerce us all into church to create a mass death stimulus; that is attempted mass murder. he may as well yell, death to America. we may as well respond, death to trump!

Ziya likes this

Donald Trump's bloody hands belong to a mass killer.

"Please stop talking. You're voice is as irritating as shit!"
-Bitch Puddin'

actually, all roads do lead to Rome, and this is what you find when you get there... bubonic plague, lead in the water making folks Loco, covid-19. History doesn't repeat ; it rhymes.

Fionacatherine, petegutz2 and CurrentNobody like this

Hypochondriac is just a passive-aggressive form of manipulation.
Get over that crap.

Fionacatherine, petegutz2 and CurrentNobody like this

CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

CurrentNobody likes this

some of the most woke people need to wake the hell up.

CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

What you don't know :

The HIGH-FIVE was invented by Glenn Burke, a member of the Dodgers, in 1977. Glenn was also a gay black homeless man. The gesture suddenly seems far more significant now, doesn't it?

Fionacatherine likes this

Hey, Precedent Rump, Soup Nazi say, "NO SOUP FOR YOU!"

#quarantine

roosterbear likes this

'Tonight's the night that the lights went out on Broadway...
Tonight's the night Trump blamed an innocent man...
So don't trust your soul to no New York City Cheetoh...
Cuz the Prez in this land's got bloodstains on his hands.'

#quarantine

karlokoenig, Ziya, roosterbear, Fionacatherine and LordoftheWhys like this

reposted by roosterbear

My mother - in-law is awesome. As far as in-laws go, I got struck lucky.

UserOne, CurrentNobody, busylizzie, Ziya and roosterbear like this

"friends I can count on, I can count on one hand, with a leftover finger, or two."

UserOne, CurrentNobody, busylizzie and roosterbear like this

I made the decision to grow my own hipster beard ; I didn't look anything like a hipster ; I looked like an old rabbi.

CurrentNobody likes this

I tried to be bisexual for a while, but no one bought me a damn thing. So... I gave that up, like, real fast. Cuz, you know?

CurrentNobody likes this

Oh, dear planet, I know not just where we are going, but I shall be certain to tell the dinosaurs hello for you when we get there.

#whiletheplanetdies

busylizzie and CurrentNobody like this

America's Cult of the Ignorant,

Why are you even a thing? I mean seriously.

CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

I'd prefer provolone to provacative on days like this.

#provocative

Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

dedicated to Jenn L. in Providence;
If you were the last piece of toilet paper on the planet, I still wouldn't even use you to wipe my ass.
May someone someday show you the compassion you showed a family (including a member living with hiv) that you stole their home from on that cold day.

#provocative

LordoftheWhys likes this

The small kindness of a stranger is oft overwhelming; the apathy of some friends severely under so.

Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

it is pointless to argue with your mother when she calls you a son of a bitch and you point out that that makes her the bitch, she tells back that she knows that, and your just confused.

#pointless

LordoftheWhys and CurrentNobody like this

#vulgar

busylizzie and JodieT like this

They call me Fukkleberry Sinn.
2Ks,2Bs,2Ns. Thank you.

Ziya, busylizzie and JodieT like this

Just can't trump it; orange is the new vulgar.

#vulgar

Ziya, busylizzie, JodieT and Campo like this

The new vulgar: its has the smallest hands, grasping desperately at sound bites as they fly through the news waves air around him and it fails, its ugly orange skin leaving lies in the orange skid marks.

#vulgar

busylizzie and JodieT like this

I remember my old roommate Larry. Triple-jointed and no gag reflex. I'll probably never get to fuck another pretzel again.

Fab
And
Getting
Gayer
On
Thursdays.

Somehow I've stumbled into a strange and interesting place, new to me that I never even considered before. I now design and mae clocks. And people are starting to buy my clocks too. What a strange and interesting time this is.

crafty, Fionacatherine, janem803 and JodieT like this

People suck.
People suck fast hard long and strong. If they sucked any harder there'd be no oxygen left for the rest of us to bear witness the suckatude of the suckagettes.
Dumb fuckers.

janem803 and JodieT like this

Hey, Siri, fuck you and the apple you rode in on.

crafty and meohmy like this

It would seem that the fabled mid-life crisis is rolling out right on schedule. Alexa... Cortana...? Get me off this rock, can you.

meohmy likes this

Crystal
Toad
Studio
is coming soon!

F*ck. The thing is still six days out and this year's birthday is already just sucking puke inducing dirty ass. I mean, especially at the age I am turning, I should know better than to even get my hopes up anymore but, like some f*ck tard, I keep on doing.

Most people carry an air of superiority that is generally undermined by their lack of understanding and compassion both in the majority of situations. (However, don't bother trying to explain that to these pillars of smugness.)

Remember,
Love may not be stronger than gravity but it is stronger than gravy.

Dearest 2019,
please let it slide. Just let it slide. Won't even be hard, this current year has set the bar pretty damn low. Just, make it fast and easy, pretty - pleasy.

#dear2019

Krusa, roosterbear and MyM like this

A few years ago I turned around and walked away from my family; most of the good ones were dead and the rest are far away. But I walked away arm in arm with my husband and I have never regretted or doubted since. It's nice to know for certain that you chose wisely.

roosterbear and Authlander like this

$What I want for Christmas: 1. People to keep the promises they make. 2. If you are going to insult me, don't make it worse by telling a lie anyone will see right through and don't rely on lazy cliches. 3. Remember all the effort and time it took to become an adult? Take advantage of what was learned. 4. Hey! Look for my upcoming website and buy some of my photography or one of the clocks I started designing this year; that's my thing now I guess. 5. Oh yeah and my two fracking front teeth.$

LordoftheWhys, JodieT and MyM like this

People go out of their way to be disappointing; they'll expend great effort and energy to do so; they'll cause great inonvenience to their own selves to accomplish letting down a stranger, not reap any tangible reward nor even stay for acknowledgement. People are disappointing; a lot of just people suck.

people actually expect you to believe the lies they tell themselves and then have the nerve to be offended that you don't believe it like they've come to do.

janem803 and MyM like this

Why when the suspicion that something might be to good to true, despite no evidence to support the idea, they always are? Basically people suck. They don't even try but to lie. why, huh, why? No, dude, seriously, tell me why without the lie.

It's all fun & games til someone pulls a Trump out and sticks it in your white house.

roosterbear likes this

#funfact I learned today:

Schroedinger was wrong.

The cat is neither dead nor alive. Take that to your quantum wavelengths! #QBism, #quantumbayesianism

#funfact

krubjas likes this

here's a #funfact, a la, Shania,

"That don't impress me much."

and plenty of it to spread around...

#funfact

janem803 likes this

#funfact

part two:

they'll find my dead body, teeth tightly clenched and a smart phone in my hands' death grip, the screen reading, "DUCK! DUCK! DUCK! YOU MOTHER DUCKING PHONE!"

#funfact

krubjas likes this

#funfact

not
all
facts
are
fun
.

#funfact

krubjas, swatchUSA and janem803 like this

#funfact

spellchecker and autocorrect conspire to be the death of me. just saying.

#funfact

krubjas likes this

#funfact

"The only way he is ever gonna get laid is by crawling up a chicken's ass and waiting!"

#funfact

Where there is 'smoke' there isn't always fire: that's a vape which makes what you see a plume not a cloud... just trust me there is a whole jargon thing.
I know though, 'plume gets in your eyes' wiull never have the same sentimental magic as 'smoke gets in your eyes' - unless you stop to think about it, that plume is far less aggitating to the eye than smoke. I don't know... I'm just musing.

#smoke

ChrisRota likes this

There is more truth in fiction than in daily life.

#diet

UserOne, Campo, Fionacatherine, JodieT and ChrisRota like this

Basically I'ma short pasta guy. Your long pasta there, now, that's got to get cut kinto shorter pieces. It slurps and slops and makes a mess outta me and outta your tablecloth. Flat, round, tube or shell are all good. Who's the shtoonad who convinced everyone long stringy pasta what a good thing.

...just saying here, ya know?

#pasta

janem803 likes this

Ahh...! The pastabilities!

#pasta

UserOne, Fionacatherine, RNhiker, janem803 and ChrisRota like this

I know what I should and what I want but no clue what I will, ya know?

JodieT likes this

why do the biggest ass homes flick to the nicest people.

JodieT likes this

We have odd plumbing in our kitchen. Often guests come find us elsewhere in the house to say they can't turn off the water. Here's a thought out loud: if it didn't turn off the way you tried, turn the damn knob the OTHER direction you brain surgeon.

#thinkingoutloud

janem803 and ChrisRota like this

"The Hardest thing to do in this world is live in it. Be brave. Live."
~Buffy the Vampire Slayer

#, #note, #to, #self

springfire, janem803 and beingme like this

There is one simple thing wrong with you you think you have plenty of time If you dont think your life is going to last forever, what are you waiting for? Why the hesitation to change? You dont have time for this display, you fool. This, whatever youre doing now, may be your last act on earth. It may very well be your last battle. There is no power which could guarantee that you are going to live one more minute.

springfire, janem803, InfluenceNoise and ChrisRota like this

Trump runs in, where fools fear to go... and wise men never go.

#fool

springfire, InfluenceNoise and ChrisRota like this

What was I thinking? Why... I wasn't thinking at all.

#what, #was, #I, #thinking

beingme and janem803 like this

What?

What was I thinking? I knew there was something I forgot to do!

#What, #was, #I, #thinking

beingme and janem803 like this

Why do people I don't owe money to keep expecting it from me? ...as if it's a forgone conclusion. You all know my ass is broke, seriously.

InfluenceNoise likes this

It's the beginning of the end people; I left the house a couple days ago wearing one black leather shoe and one blue cloth shoe. How did that even happen?

Authlander likes this

#yes

May the Fourth be with you, ya groovy foxy people, you!

#foxy

The quick brown foxy vixen jumps over the lazy dog.

#foxy

SourceBlack likes this

Life is like a game with all the cards stacked against you until someone has a baby, you look at him or her and oggle and think, that's a whole new person!
24 April 2018
Caleb Lewis
Welcome to the World!

roosterbear and SourceBlack like this

We are what they grow beyond. That is the true burden of all masters.

roosterbear likes this

Respond to suppoerters of the current resident of the white house the way a jedi would. Tell them, "Everything you said in that sentance was wrong."

roosterbear likes this

I'm in my forties; when do I get to feel like a grown up?

roosterbear likes this

Old enough to know better...

...still to damn youngo care.

"Rome is built on ruins and is quite breathtaking. What makes you think you can't be too."

janem803, bold, Fionacatherine, JodieT, Authlander and roosterbear like this

We do the best we can with what we have at the time - at that time, not this one, the one that does not include the fortune of hindsight.

bold and JodieT like this

...that dickhead, God, has a lot of explaining to do.

bold, JodieT, ChrisRota and petegutz2 like this

Big shit
and little shit
and oh my god
it's holy shit.

UserOne, Ziya, janem803, jmb, bold, JodieT and ChrisRota like this

reposted by ChrisRota

Toxic relationship of the year goes to: Toxic Trump

#Toxic

JodieT likes this

If you are attempting to emotianlly manipulate me, please!, don't hector me with hackneyed poorly executed cliches. C'mon, lazy much?

#Toxic

JodieT and ChrisRota like this

I had to hurt you to keep you from hurting me any further.

Just go.

#Toxic

Sometimes doing the right thing, the important thing, the best thing and the next best thing - they feel like the worst thing in all the world that one could possibly do. It hurts but it is the best thing and the next best thing and therefore the only possible choice to make.

#Toxic

bold, JodieT and ChrisRota like this

I had to tell you to go, to get the hell out of my home... Not because I wanted to for even a moment but to have let you stay... It is not an act of selfishness upon my part but of self care, which I am owed to me by myself.

#Toxic

JodieT likes this

I was never giving you harm and negativity; I was only returning it in kind, so as to let you know how little I wanted it.

#Toxic

JodieT and ChrisRota like this

'Every devil I meet, is an angel in disguise; every devil I meet, is a friend of mine.'

bold, ChrisRota, Authlander, InfluenceNoise and JodieT like this

Happy egg-laying rabbit zombie Jesus day!

UserOne, ChrisRota, JodieT, FrankFilocamo and roosterbear like this

If God created man in his own image then why are each of our faces so distinct and individual from one another?And for that matter, why do people nearly fetishsize the conformity of one another. Don't they know it is all our differences, all our one of a kind faces, that not only give humanity its strength but its the thing that makes us even the remotest bit interesting.

JodieT likes this

Of all the faces in the world, husband, only yours arrests me so.

#faces

ChrisRota, Campo and JodieT like this

"This is how we like to f'ck: Face down; ass up. Face down; ass up. Face down; ass up: this is how we like to f'ck."

Reposted from anonymous

#faces

bold likes this

When one finds oneself in Hell, keep on slogging.

beingme, InfluenceNoise and JodieT like this

Everything I loved went away but now it all returns. It seems my latchkey pop-cult loves are coming 'round again. Roseanne, Fuller House, Will & Grace, and I hear Murphy Brown is even on her way back. Everything old is new except my back and the joints in my right foot. Ah, "potatoe."

roosterbear likes this

In the news, today is the first day of spring. In weather news, we can expect five to ten inches of snow to dall today. In related news, it would seem that today's arrival of spring has been cancelled.

#cancelled

roosterbear, MyM and JodieT like this

R.I.P.
David Couzzo
March 18, 2018 - 53 y.o.
You were a good and a kind man, and you were my friend. Thank you.

roosterbear and Authlander like this

wait....
Cancelled is the mission this week or the mission has been cancelled.
I'm so confused that this post appears in a blond box, no less.

#cancelled

roosterbear and meohmy like this

ATTENTION:
as of November 2016, sanity, rational and truth have been cancelled. Service may resume either Autumn of 2020 or 2024, most likely. Thank you for your patience.

#cancelled

roosterbear and meohmy like this

Erin's green bra! You figure it out.

roosterbear, FrankFilocamo and dor1316 like this

You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but the worst is when you are just fooling yourself any of the time.

roosterbear and FrankFilocamo like this

Happy St Patty's Day
A hundred years ago the Irish branch of my family came to America. Whilst my great-grandmother was pregnant with my grandfather, the Spanish flu spread and wiped out every one of the Irish in our family that came to America. Grandpa never got to meet those Irish. I remember that every St Patrick's day.

#flu

roosterbear, meohmy, JodieT, Authlander, dor1316 and LordoftheWhys like this

Better a smart ass than a fat ass, jack ass or dumb ass.

roosterbear, meohmy and JodieT like this

Let he who hath not laid a porn star following the birth of his fifth child from his third marriage cast the first stone.

roosterbear and JodieT like this

"Its better that 10 guilty men go free than one innocent man is wrongfully convicted."
Upon these words is based the American justice system; thanks for fucking that up.

busylizzie, roosterbear, meohmy, JodieT and FrankFilocamo like this

It is often impossible to be both a good citizen and a good person.
~Aristotle

ChrisRota, roosterbear, meohmy, JodieT and FrankFilocamo like this

Truth & Justice.
Superman
listed them seperately
from the
American Way...

#earlier, #piece, #reworded.

roosterbear, meohmy and FrankFilocamo like this

reposted by FrankFilocamo

My Words get to Boldomatic when I post but my Snark seems to get lost in translation.

ChrisRota, meohmy, MyM, roosterbear, FrankFilocamo and DBadLeprechaun like this

There are days and days that I remember.
What would I not give for them to surrender.
A memory honed 'come memory goned.

#winneringreenm

meohmy, roosterbear and FrankFilocamo like this

So, I went into Staples and confirmed that, indeed, they do sell staples. Naturally, it is a forgone conclusion that this weekend I am going to go check out Dick's...

meohmy and JodieT like this

Dogs.

Were/wolves.

#werewolves

crafty likes this

"Donald Trump is worse than any horror story I've written."
~ Stephen King

Sunshine123, JodieT, meohmy, jaybyrd, roosterbear, FrankFilocamo and petegutz2 like this

saw a site this morning selling toilet paper with Obama, H Clinton and Trump on it. The former two cost $3 a roll, however, the Trump rump paper is free. Interperate as you will...

JodieT, roosterbear, FrankFilocamo and meohmy like this

No.
Effing.
Way.
This is so awesome; total awesome-sauce; I mean amaaaaaze-balls, children. I'd like to thank the Academy.... Wait, wrong speech, um, I have it here somewhere. But really, my little ditty? It won.
Thank you.

#acceptance

JodieT, meohmy, FrankFilocamo and jaybyrd like this

There are days and days that I remember. What would I not give for them to surrender. A memory honed 'come memory goned.

#memories

varshikar, janem803, SourceBlack, Sunshine123, bobbybuilder, roosterbear, NerdWord, Authlander, FrankFilocamo, Campo and 14 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic and uglyteen

Upon concluding his rememberances, he arrived and sat with the thought, "love, afterall, is just another four letter word."

#memories

JodieT likes this

The BIG memories come in two forms: those that warm one from the inside and sustain and those that rip and shred and leave one gasping for air. There usually is no in between for the BIG ones.

#memories

JodieT and beingme like this

What if, all our life, all our #memories are remembered in reverse so that everything you think you were is what you are to become and cannot change and the future is resplendant of all the things you ever were but cannot ever know?

#memories

meohmy and dor1316 like this

#memories, of the way we once were - and hope to never be again.

#memories

meohmy and dor1316 like this

Said the lesbian to the drag queen in the middle of the desert in the middle of nowhere,

"Assumption, my dear, is the mother of all fuck-ups."

ajsmom, FrankFilocamo and InfluenceNoise like this

Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly.
I got to love one man til I die. I got to love one man til I die. Can't help lovin that man of mine.

ajsmom, FrankFilocamo and InfluenceNoise like this

How much more ignorant do I need to get to start experiencing bliss? I'm getting impatient.

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

beingme and FrankFilocamo like this

I didn't choose it; I was CHOSEN! (That's so gay.)

Meanwhile, in the mean time, in-between time, if you know-what-I-mean-time, back at the ranch....

meohmy likes this

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

#5wordstory

meohmy likes this

Well, back in my day...

#5wordstory

meohmy likes this

The slipper didn't fit but his dick did.

Authlander and meohmy like this

Once upon a midnight queerly...

#5wordstory

meohmy and JodieT like this

Love is not a reason to get into a relationship, however, it is the best of the reasons.

meohmy likes this

Spring springs early in the air, yet hope springs eternal.

meohmy and JodieT like this

I can't get no sleep.

#5wordstories

meohmy and beingme like this

And then they all danced.

#5wordstory

janem803, Campo, Sunshine123, Authlander, Eyesofchaos, meohmy, dor1316 and jaybyrd like this

Someone just kill him already!

#5wordstory

ChrisRota, meohmy and dor1316 like this

reposted by dor1316

It begins, after these commercials.

#5wordstory

meohmy likes this

Great mother of Perleane Dubois!

#5wordstory

busylizzie, beingme, meohmy and roosterbear like this

"...and they lived happily ever after..."
until they counted six words in their #5wordstory

beingme and roosterbear like this

#5wordstory

Planting.
Raining.
Sunshine.
Growing.
Blooming.

#5wordstory

JodieT, roosterbear and jaybyrd like this

#5wordstory
They
lived
happily
ever
after.

#5wordstory

janem803, Campo, FrankFilocamo, JodieT, dor1316, roosterbear and LordoftheWhys like this

reposted by FrankFilocamo

Pretty Plants; Persistent Pets; & Pervy People. Ahhhh...

janem803, JodieT, roosterbear and InfluenceNoise like this

I have always said, the worst person to hire for a political office is a politician.
Um, apparently "worst" is a little strong a choice of words.

beingme, roosterbear and jaybyrd like this

Truth and justice. Is there a reason why Superman lists them as if they are not parts of the American Way?

ChrisRota, locupleto, meohmy, dor1316, juliettebravo, InfluenceNoise, bold and roosterbear like this

reposted by roosterbear

Truth, justice & the American Way; ever wonder why Superman lists the latter one seperately from the former?

InfluenceNoise likes this

To the early risers and the up all-nighters, may this toast go find you and make the words flow from you.

#toast

JodieT, meohmy, roosterbear and bold like this

I know how the first lady got there but how did the village idiot get to live in America's #first home ?

#first

meohmy, dor1316, roosterbear and InfluenceNoise like this

OK?
Okay?
Screw it.
O'k.

roosterbear and InfluenceNoise like this

Red Bull doesn't give you wings. It steals your unicorns and drives them into the foamy seas!

JodieT likes this

#First home wasn't that small town, Elmwood, nor the one in CT, DC or the Cape when I ventured out. In fact, I have never owned a home, however, I have a first and best home in the Wells half of Wells-Kent.

#First

dor1316, roosterbear and LordoftheWhys like this

what I want in a man:
Captain America in the streets, Deadpool in the sheets.

roosterbear and InfluenceNoise like this

There once was a man from Woonsocket...

No, that's all. I call it poetic minimalism. Yeah, that sounds good.

meohmy, roosterbear and InfluenceNoise like this

There once was a man from Woonsocket...
That's all. It's a poor town. I mean, have you been there?

busylizzie, meohmy, dor1316, roosterbear and InfluenceNoise like this

Invisible Letters: One writes and it is plainly correct; one comes back later, looks original writing and sees all the invisble letters and typos that, "I swear to frelling god weree so not there five minutes ago."

roosterbear and InfluenceNoise like this

picture plumbers' pants: Now think "Mind the gap. Please mind the gap." (It is even better if the voice is English and female and has the echo of a loudspeaker but maybe that is just me.)

dor1316, roosterbear and InfluenceNoise like this

Impersonating, or playing at humility is a far worse thing than hubris, braggadoccio or vainful pride.

roosterbear and InfluenceNoise like this

The name ofth street of your #firsthome plus the name of your first pet is, supposedly, your porn name. Or your drag name depending on whom you're talking to.

~ East Ash Bandit

#firsthome

dor1316 and beingme like this

your porn name is supposed to be the name of your first pet and the street of the first home you lived in. - by Bandit East Ash

"This is for him, or men like him. The decent. It's for the quiet and gentle who know how the world should be, but can't shout louder than the bastards." from Morning Star by Pierce Brown

dor1316, roosterbear, ForeverActive and LordoftheWhys like this

Look at you, catch my breath, remember to inhale, forget to exhale, gasp, remember to inhale and breathe when your eyes acknowledge mine. Each & every time.

#rituals

roosterbear, ForeverActive and LordoftheWhys like this

apply, lather, rinse, repeat.

#rituals

meohmy, roosterbear and ForeverActive like this

Pump, squirt, fart, roll over , snore. The prefered ritual of most men everywhere.

#rituals

ForeverActive likes this

Day in...
Day out...
Day in...
Day out...
Day in...
Day out...
Day in...
Day out...

til death do you part.

#rituals

roosterbear and ForeverActive like this

Ever stop to consider the weekly #rituals of Christianity focus on two acts: one being vampirism and the other being cannibalism?
Good God!

#rituals

roosterbear and ForeverActive like this

I was about to say something very clever about #blue but then I blinked and yawned and had no clue what thecrap it was.

#blue

meohmy and roosterbear like this

This isn't about sex. This is about me getting laid!

roosterbear, jaybyrd and ForeverActive like this

The blue of her eyes matched the blue of your balls.

#blue

janem803, ChrisRota, jaybyrd, beingme, JodieT, bold and roosterbear like this

reposted by roosterbear

periwinkle, azure,
navy,
cobalt, cornflower
blues.

#blue

meohmy and roosterbear like this

it just sounds real good: thick, veiny,shaft.

roosterbear likes this

Seriously, why don't some people come with public safety warnings?

meohmy and roosterbear like this

"The hardest thing to do in this world is live in it. Be brave; live."
~Buffy The Vampire Slayer

meohmy and roosterbear like this

We've only just beguuun to EDIT, EDIT, EDIT.

roosterbear likes this

'Tis better to be a wise ass than a fat ass, jack ass, or dumb ass. I know; I've been all of them.

busylizzie, meohmy, dor1316 and roosterbear like this