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Posts Liked by al.

Dear Life

Please stop fucking me in broad daylight.
I would much rather prefer it under the cover of darkness.

yours sincerely
me

173

Work until your idols become your rivals.

298

Remember,

people say 'I love you' in different ways...

'eat something'

'get some sleep'

'have my fries'

'yeah i'll buy it for you'

64

$(•_•) <) )> When you're ready / \ ( •_•) <( (> Come and get it / \ (•_•) ~( )~ NA NA NA NA$

28

Hey, we never talked in high school!

Lets be Facebook friends so we can once again never talk!

42

If I've ever given you the idea that we're friends, then I'm truly sorry.

10

Quick!
No time to explain...
grab a donkey

134

If i stay in bed i'll be warm

if i get in the shower i'll also be warm

but the distance between the bed and the shower

that is not warm

21

I am not smart, the others are just stupid

25

cinderella is the proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.

2

Because when people see good, they expect good & I don't want to live up to anyone's expectations.

15

Forget drugs and sex for now. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling.

23

ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE WITH DEAD PERSONALITIES

11

Asking a question you already know just to see if the person will lie.

14

Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah's Witnesses of the internet.

42

I tripped and fell in love.

Don't worry, I brushed that shit off.

409

Not being able to say, "no" because someone is just too "nice".

12

Charging your phone 5minutes before you leave because you think it'll make a difference.

15

I'm a Victoria's secret model.

It's just a secret not even Victoria knows.

15

If you tickle my feet, I am not responsible for what happens to your face!

18

I hate it when I'm ignoring someone and they don't text me or anything so they don't even know I'm ignoring them...

19

If you find it necessary to judge me by my past, don't be surprised if I find it necessary to put you there.

59

ADMIT IT : You're not supposed to be here. You are putting something off, or it's late at night or early in the morning and you could be sleeping. You will need that sleep. You're probably staying here anyway. Well, that makes two of us.

21

Not friends nor enemies.

Just strangers with memories.

65

Seeing a spider is not the problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears!

77

Ladies, lets take extra long to look stunning for all the guys we'll be ignoring tonight.

137

Dear Ex,

Please don't be fooled by Adele, you'll never find someone like me.

203

I WANT TO HAVE TEXT WITH YOU.

257

If fantasy was realistic -
reality would be fantastic.

181

Try to be less of a fucking piece of shit than you were yesterday.

- Buddha

295

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

192

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

367

others have sex in the kitchen, I eat in bed

367

I just took a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

271

With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything

363

Whenever I delete an app on my phone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •

583

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

459

Dear Ex..

When you see me, i want you to recognize what you had, regret what you've lost, and realize what you're never getting back.

Sincerly Me

388

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

326

SEEING YOUR EX IS LIKE SEEING OLD FASHION PICTURES. YOU ASK YOURSELF HOW YOU COULD GO IN PUBLIC WITH THIS.

55

Hey you!
Yea, you...

Don't just pass by my post and not say Hi!

31

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

572

some are playing hard to get while i'm playing hard to want

285

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone?... That's common sense leaving your body.

395

24 years old.

And yes, still obsessed with Harry Potter.

2

Harry Potter is my bible

2

after being in Harry Potter, I believe a bit more in magic than I did before.
-Rupert

3

Saying, "It's true because it's in the Bible." is the same as saying, "It's true because it's in Harry Potter."

3

When I have a crush on someone I play it cool. Like really cool. Like I do nothing to show I'm attracted to them.

This never works.

38

Breaking a mirror is 7 years of bad luck, breaking a condom is 18.

30

so you sat there and just told me everybody's personal business, and now you ask me how i'm doing? Hell, im fabulous and yourself ???

9

A bicycle runs on fat and saves you money,

a car runs on money and makes you fat.

71

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

Try to be less of a fucking piece of shit than you were yesterday.

- Buddha

531

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

1135

My immaturity keeps me young.

470

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

564

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

823

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive and you'll take their breath away.

629

At times, I'm extremely grateful that our thoughts don't appear in bubbles over our heads like in comics.

118

Squidward: You're making me claustrophobic.
Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean?
Spongebob: It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.
Squidward: No it doesn't!
Patrick: HO HO HO!
Spongebob: Stop it patrick! You're scaring him!

18

"In Europe, we're not allowed have wars anymore, so we take out all our anger and competitiveness every year in the Eurovision."

15

the problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubt, while the stupid people are full of confidence.

-Charles Bukowski

177

Ego is a race.
And in this race, the winner is the loser.

453

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