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lanacrown

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lanacrown

COFFEE -

A magical substance that turns, "Leave me alone or die", into "Good Morning, Honey!"

2

intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings

2

I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask:

'Mother, what was war?'

2

If I had 24 hours to live...

Ah, fuck it. I'd probably just sit and eat chicken from a bucket.

1

Selfie is the proof that smartphone and internet have made people so alone that they don't find a friend who can take a pic.

1

If you're ugly, please leave before I wake up.

1

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

1

Me: I want a magical unicorn for Christmas!

Santa: Be realistic.

Me: OK, I want 5 minutes to myself each day to have my coffee hot and pee in peace.

Santa: What colour unicorn would you like?

1

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