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'Just think, in a couple years it'll be time to start having kids and getting married!'

Gulp.

'Hugs vodka and cat a little tighter'

13

Sure...Some selfish pig wakes up at 70 yrs old & all of a sudden he cares about others & wants to help.

18

That awkward second when you're getting two policemen in your store as customers and you ponder what the hell did you do

17

Water?

Yes,Nae.

Save me.

11

"Trust the science" has never been anything other than a marketing term that means
"shut up and obey".

7

I'm going in there! There's only one thing I want you to do.

'What's that?'

Talk me out of it!

10

Trying to explain yourself, to strangers, is one of the hardest things

10

Didnt see that coming , did ya?

8

iFliphone girl (kj55) is back from the digital gulag again!

8

If it bleeds, it is a wound.

Otherwise every hurt is a poem.

8

i always
demanded
to be
respected
as an adult
but i cherish now
those innocent days of
collecting shells and
hurdling waves and
chasing sea gulls
and giggling together
at the beach

8

He: I know that when your palm itches that you'll be getting money and when your ear itches that someone is talking about you. What does it mean when your balls itch?

Me: It's time to see a doctor before they fall off!

7

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