cute_potato's Posts

Do you know who's the one you should make happy the whole time?
Look in the mirror. ..

Reposted from Chayma

UserOne likes this

Why is there always
money for war
but not for education?

Reposted from blackboxmagic

meohmy likes this

Normal people
flirting:
hey you're cute, we should go out some times.

Me flirting:
so do you like bread?

Reposted from anonymous

What's the difference between a northern fairytale & a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."

A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Reposted from 2schaa

Babs_77 likes this

Relationships are like bathrooms. I'm in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I'm playing on my phone the whole time.

Reposted from 2schaa

donnajacksXX, 2schaa, Babs_77, MjDeB and kfasheldon like this

Sometimes I wish I was a Bird......So i could fly over certain people,And Shit on their HEADS...

Reposted from Roxy139

phranq100 and kfasheldon like this

When people stare at me,
I assume they are taking notes on...

"How to be fabulous"

Reposted from Bettydent

phranq100 and kfasheldon like this

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

Reposted from bold

Lark and kfasheldon like this

I had a big argument with my pumpkin. But, we squashed it.

Reposted from anonymous

@pensword72, @donnajacksXX

donnajacksXX, kfasheldon and PenSword72 like this

I just called my boss & told him I have explosive diarrhea.

It's my day off, but I like to keep him informed.

Reposted from 2schaa

bold likes this

fake hair, fake nails, fake lashes, fake titts.
but looking for a real man.

great, bitches.

Reposted from mariechen_xo

Beaverhausen likes this

"I'm selfish, impatient and at a little insecure.
I make mistakes. I am out of control and at times, hard to handle.
But, if you cant handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

-Marilyn Monroe

Reposted from Bettydent

14.000 people are having sex right now; 25.000 people are kissing; 50.000 people are hugging.
And you... well you're reading this.

Trust me, I'm not happy about it either.

Reposted from anonymous

Bettydent likes this

Singing in the shower is all fun until you get shampoo in your mouth

then it just becomes a soap opera

Reposted from anonymous

Babs_77 likes this

Life is like a Bollywood movie: colorful, humorous, and usually you have no idea what the fuck is going on.

Reposted from erin.desmond

Beaverhausen likes this

If you were a potato, you'd be a sweet one

Reposted from anonymous

When you're dead you don't know that you're dead. It's only difficult for the others.

It's the same thing when you're stupid.

Reposted from rhodesia

That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.

Reposted from anonymous

Don't steal.
The government hates competition.

Reposted from anonymous

,,If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second,,

~Johnny Depp

Reposted from Babs_77

nadegewalcksch and Babs_77 like this

The difference between a lawyer and an alcoholic is that one passed the bar and one didn't.

Reposted from meohmy

@meohmy

meohmy likes this

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt

~ Mark Twain

Reposted from Babs_77

donnajacksXX, Babs_77 and Dhicky like this

stupid autocorrect

you always end up posting some thong you didn't Nintendo.

Reposted from avant-garde

UserOne, Bettydent and Dhicky like this

If you're an astronaut, and you don't end every relationship by saying

"Look, I just need more space"

than you're wasting everyone's time.

Reposted from anonymous

I always let women tell me what to do...

Sometimes, that's a good thing.

-Grandpa Desmond

Reposted from erin.desmond

cute_potato and erin.desmond like this

Money does not change you,
it just reveals who you really are.

Reposted from blackboxmagic

phranq100 likes this

me no study,
me no care,
me go marry billionaire.

if he die,
me no cry,
me go marry another guy.

Reposted from avant-garde

5 kinds of fear

1. panic
2. terror
3. 15 missed calls from mom
4. "we need to talk"
5. "wrong password"

Reposted from avant-garde

Friend: What's your boyfriend's name?
Me: Bed.
Friend: That's a weird name.
Me: Yeah, he's from Ikea.

Reposted from avant-garde

stuff you ask your mom:
-mom what do we eat for dinner
-mom when do you come back
-mom what day is it
-mom what time is it
-mom where's my phone

stuff you ask your dad:
-dad where is mom

Reposted from avant-garde

I have a boyfriend.
Wait no,
that's a fridge.
I have a fridge.

Reposted from avant-garde

ladies, if you think your man is cheating take him to that bitch's frontdoor and see if his wifi connects automatically

Reposted from avant-garde

phranq100 likes this

there's a little truth behind every
"just kidding"
a little curiosity behind every
"just wondering"
a little knowledge behind every
"i don't know"
and a little emotion behind every
"i don't care"

Reposted from avant-garde

phranq100 and avant-garde like this

People in love use phrases like;
"takes my breath away" and "swept me off my feet."

I think they"re confusing love with attempted murder.

Reposted from 2schaa

If Adam and Eve were Chinese,
we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

Reposted from anonymous

Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde likes this

?od?? ? ?q 'no? ??i?ou o? ??do?d ?u?? ?????? no? ?i

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

Sometimes I feel useless but then
I remember
I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

Silence is a girls loudest cry.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

NukeSkywalker, hallowelt and phranq100 like this

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

Roxy139 likes this

We are very good judges for the mistakes of others, but good lawyers for our own mistakes

Reposted from phranq100

Old MacDonald had a farm. what they didn't tell is the mile long weed plantation growing in his *greenhouse.*

Reposted from annairie

annairie likes this

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

Reposted from _chxrlie

MAKE
HAY
NOT
WAR

Reposted from JodieT

@JodieT

phranq100 and JodieT like this

Nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing right next to somebody who is completely broken and we wouldn't even know.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Convo_Ray, donnajacksXX, Ms_Ntlebi, phranq100 and Roxy139 like this

I'm tired of getting fucked in ways that dont't end in an orgasm

Reposted from Mr_Kirkwood

phranq100 likes this

we never really grow up,
we just learn how to act in public

Reposted from EmilyTudor

"Doctor, whenever I harvest my cornfields, I get a really bad headache."

"It's a migraine."

"No it's not, it's mine. And why the fuck have you started speaking Italian?"

Reposted from blackboxmagic

Who invented hugs? I mean the first hug would have been sooo awkward. "What are you doing, why are you holding me???"
"Shhh just trust me."

Reposted from Dhicky

I hate arguing but I hate holding the sh*t in.

Reposted from Dhicky

Ladies, if a guy takes more selfies than you do...run.

Reposted from Dhicky

Designer bags are a woman's downfall.

How quickly jealous
I become
of the wind
when it,
and not I,
gets the privilege
of properly
messing up
your hair.

- Tyler Knott Gregson

Reposted from JodieT

Yes, the world is horrible.

But, sadly, it's the only horrible world, we have

Reposted from anonymous

To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying and to hope is to risk failure...
but risk must be taken because the greatest risk of all is when there is none taken.

Reposted from lalaland

Home: where I can look ugly and enjoy it

Reposted from jano

hallowelt likes this

Ladies,

never ever fight over a man. Fight over a job, parking space, your space in a long line. . . the last chicken wing. But never over a man. NEVER!

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

happiness
is
viral
go
infect
someone

Reposted from cora.steffani

@cora.steffani

nadegewalcksch likes this

She told me, "fuck you"
And I replied, "Okay. When?"
I have a black eye

Reposted from anonymous

PenSword72 and kluchay like this

You're as annoying as that app that turns sideways when I lay down.

Reposted from Dhicky

blackboxmagic likes this

My love is like a candle.

If you forget me, I'll burn your house down.

Reposted from manutd7770

donnajacksXX, hallowelt and kluchay like this

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

Reposted from 2schaa

kluchay and 2schaa like this

STRESSED

spelled
backward
is

DESSERTS

Reposted from hellomikael

i've
fallen
in love
with you,

but you
don't exist.

Reposted from haekaru