mishka2445's Posts

A winner is just a loser who tried one more time.

Reposted from misterlab

Lina.alice, seppowitch and misterlab like this

Cinderella is my favorite story about women who fight over a man who doesn't even remember what a woman he spent the night with looks like.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

NukeSkywalker and seppowitch like this

Mein Schlafrhythmus sitzt mit dem Monster unter dem Bett und pokert.

Reposted from anonymous

stargater and ZoJ like this

"Wie geht es dir ?"

"Och,
ich bin flexibel.
Such dir was aus."

Reposted from anonymous

stargater and ZoJ like this

Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.

Reposted from anonymous

Lina.alice, janaa, misterlab and kj55 like this

Das schönste am Desinteresse ist, dass es mir egal ist.

Reposted from anonymous

naaber, janaa and ZoJ like this

Not having a thigh gap saved my phone from falling in the toilet

#no, #thigh, #gap, #phone, #fat

janaa likes this

I like the type of people whose sense of humor may be described as "inappropriate with a chance of ruining family dinner."

Reposted from bold

#people, #dark, #humor

janaa and bold like this

"i dont like short hair on girls" yeah well i dont like short dicks on guys but here u are

#short, #little, #things

mjf and bold like this

"Need new haters, the old ones are starting to like me".

Reposted from misterlab

aehmpaeh likes this

Hab gerade eine
Ich-bin-ja-so-fett-aber-trage-Größe-32-und-kann-essen-soviel-ich-will-Hihi getroffen.

Mit 'nem Stein.

Reposted from anonymous

ZoJ, aehmpaeh and NukeSkywalker like this

Schulbildung ist kostenlos, in manchen Fällen auch umsonst.

Reposted from anonymous

Manche Menschen fahren so langsam, die werden nicht geblitzt sondern gemalt.

Reposted from basil

Die Lösung ist gut - nur sie passt nicht zum Problem

Reposted from basil

hahahahaha
hahahahaha

wait... what?!

Reposted from _Nathalie_

_Nathalie_ likes this

Vor 400 Jahren gab es noch keine Kameras. Man musste zuerst ein Ölgemälde von seinem Essen machen, bevor man es auf Facebook posten konnte.

Reposted from ga_reb

Die vier Jahreszeiten: Frühling, Arschloch, Herbst und Winter

Reposted from ga_reb

#frühling, #arschloch, #herbst, #winter

People with a sense of humor are so much easier to talk to.

Reposted from anonymous

#sense, #of, #humor, #people, #talking, #easy, #laughing

aehmpaeh and kj55 like this

fuck it tends to be the last thought running through my mind before making any final decisions

#fuck, #it, #last, #thought, #final, #decisions

kj55 likes this

If alcohol isn't the answer, then obviously you're asking me the wrong question.

Reposted from kj55

#alcohol, #answer, #obviously, #question

kj55 likes this

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
AND MAYBE
A LITTLE BIT NAKED.

Reposted from cococaro

#maybe, #happy, #naked

kj55 likes this

ICH BLEIB
SO SCHEISSE WIE ICH BIN

Reposted from stargater

#genau!

ZoJ likes this

DO NOT BELIEVE ALL THE THINGS YOU TELL YOURSELF
LATE AT NIGHT.

Reposted from stargater

#word, @stargater, #brrrrrruda

kj55 likes this

- Excuse me,
where are we?

- Earth.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

#simple, #easy, #earth

_Nathalie_ likes this

ohne Orientierungssinn sieht man viel mehr von der Welt.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

#weisheit, #jaja, #true

ZoJ and _Nathalie_ like this

Ich habe da etwas Regen in meinem Sommer, könnte ich bitte einen neuen bekommen ?

Reposted from anonymous

#regen, #im, #sommer

naaber, seppowitch and ZoJ like this

when i see lovers names carved on trees, i dont think it's cute. I think it's strange how many ppl take knives out on a date.

Reposted from sss63

#knives, #date, #strange, #wierdos

seppowitch likes this

the problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubt, while the stupid people are full of confidence.

-Charles Bukowski

Reposted from anonymous

#charles, #bukowski, #people

"Hörst Du mir
überhaupt zu ?

"Geht mir genauso."

Reposted from anonymous

naaber, stargater and ZoJ like this

I have a boyfriend.
Oh wait no,
no that's a fridge.
I have a fridge.

Reposted from janaa

#fridge, #love, #boyfriend, #jana

lilly_r likes this

"Was soll ich sagen...
ohne Sie wäre ich
nicht da, wo ich jetzt
stehe !"

"Ich bin Busfahrer,
das ist mein Job."

Reposted from anonymous

#busfahrer, #job

ZoJ likes this

At least we can now get some filtered latte stirring action instead of just a filtered picture of latte.

Reposted from bold

#instagram, #video

Also hätt ich so eine Kochshow, würde sie zu 80% zeigen wie ich immer wieder zum Mülleimer renne und auf der Verpackung die Kochanleitung lese.

Reposted from anonymous

#kochen, #tv, #true

ZoJ likes this

when i want an opinion, i'll remove the duct tape...

Reposted from mousered

#silent, #maybe

mousered likes this

I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

#growup, #kids, #ideas

stargater, janaa and NukeSkywalker like this

I wouldn't say you're stupid.

You are.
But I wouldn't say it.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

#dontsay, #justthink, #stupid, #you

janaa and _Nathalie_ like this

Oh so you're a model? Who is
your agency, Instagram?

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

#model, #instagram

stargater, janaa and NukeSkywalker like this

My book club reads wine labels.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

#book, #club, #wine

NukeSkywalker and aehmpaeh like this

You can't laugh at yourself?

Don't worry.
I can do it for you.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

#for, #hours, #laughing, #haha

_Nathalie_ likes this

Eine Studie ergab:

Ängstliche Menschen sind intelligenter als der Durchschnitt.

( Es dauerte 3 Tage,
bis ich mich traute,
das zu tippen. )

Reposted from anonymous

#intelligenz, #haha

ZoJ and _Nathalie_ like this

my hobbies include being a sarcastic bitch and thats it

#sarcastic, #bitch, #hobbies, #yea

stargater and kj55 like this

Can't wait to not be broke.

Reposted from brody

#wasted

brody, kj55 and aehmpaeh like this

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change...

...Except for the direction I'm walking.

Reposted from kj55

#exactly, #haha

ga_reb and kj55 like this

Home sweet mess.

Reposted from loryane

#sad, #because, #true, #home

ZoJ and kj55 like this

People change and forget to tell each other.

-Lillian Hellman

#people, #change, #each, #other, #truth, #tell, #lillian, #hellman

sophh and _Nathalie_ like this

The synonym for reality is offline.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

#reallity, #offline, #online, #internet, #reallife

aehmpaeh and _Nathalie_ like this

I love
to watch
working
people
while
I'm not
doing
anything.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

#relax, #yup, #love, #it, #noschool

notsoserious and _Nathalie_ like this

Insgeheim warte ich auf den Tag, an dem das Schicksal an meiner Tür klingelt und beim Öffnen "Bazinga !" schreit.

Reposted from anonymous

#bazinga, #sheldon, #<3

swatchUSA and ZoJ like this

Romeo and Juliet is not a love story its a cautionary tale about how everything would be better if you would just chill the fuck out

#chill, #romeo, #and, #juliet, #love, #lovestor, #blue, #haha

seppowitch likes this

Mondays seem to go by in 'microwave minutes'.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

#ugh, #mondays, #microwave, #minutes

ZoJ and NukeSkywalker like this

I mean i could've done my homework today, but i also could've committed murder. So there's that.

Reposted from kj55

#plausibel, #school, #homework, #murder, #crime

kj55 likes this

I don't make mistakes,
I date them.

Reposted from frauheinrich

#big, #romance, #love, #date, #mistakes

kj55 likes this

Nachts,
gegen 01:00 Uhr,
morse ich dem Nachbar auf seiner Klingel immer
"Gute Nacht".

Reposted from anonymous

#er, #liebt, #mich

ZoJ likes this

hate it when you sit down and your legs flatten out to approximately the size of australia

#hate, #it, #problems, #legs, #ugh, #australia

mjf, brody, kj55 and ga_reb like this

I really shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night... Especially considering I walked there.

Reposted from kj55

#haha, #last, #night

ellenicole, annabanan and kj55 like this

Faszinierend, wie ich es immer wieder schaffe, nichts zu schaffen.

#talent, #?, #faszinierend, #produktiv, #immer, #ich

aehmpaeh and ZoJ like this

Its weird how in animals seeing ribs/collar&hip bones is considered sick or even abusive, but in people thats considered beautiful

#weird

kj55 likes this

Was ist wenn Hogwarts uns alle Briefe geschickt hat aber unsere Eltern sie vor uns versteckt haben.

Reposted from LingLewandowski

#die, #einzigste, #lösung, #hogwarts, #briefe

philosophicum, ZoJ and ga_reb like this

How am I meant to control my life I can’t even control my hair

Reposted from annalena_kle

#true, #story, #can't, #control, #my, #hair, #ugh

kj55 and ga_reb like this

When people ask me "Plz" because it's shorter than "Please" I tell them "No" because it's shorter than "Yes."

Reposted from ga_reb

#please, #no, #yes, #shorter, #plz, #people, #questions

if no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be ?!

#huh, #?, #furuture, #what, #if, #bad, #decisions

kj55 likes this

caffeine is bad for you, sugar is bad for you, alcohol is bad for you, but don't worry, cause that's bad for you too.

Reposted from permanentwaves

#bad, #sugar, #caffeind, #don't, #worry

kj55 likes this

there is a simple answer to everything and its usually no

#simple, #answer, #to, #everything, #no, #nope, #never, #green, #true

riles, kj55, seppowitch and ikyoulikey like this

reposted by seppowitch