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Posts Liked by monalob

I'm bored, you're bored, let's be bored together! :D

4

So, I think it's about time we get honest with children about how they're bad at most things.

40

Opinions
are like assholes.
I show mine to everyone at work.

18

That feeling when you have been tired all day long, but when you're just about going to bed, you're not sleepy anymore...

18

holland, switzerland... my fav teams seem to win - germany you know what to do tomorrow!

13

You know you're in Zurich when you see a Porsche driver at a traffic light sniffing coke.

23

I knew USA was Ghana win!

12

I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.

79

I think
some
people need to donate their blood, all of it.

17

I think
you're suffering from a
lack of vitamin me.

63

My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.

27

When people ask for the candy i'm eating, i give them the flavor i don't like.

15

The World Cup is a great way of reminding me of all the Countries I didn't know existed.

24

In my world "vegan" stands for joyless judgemental twat.

22

Are you always that ugly
or were you about to sneeze?

16

'Lick'
is
a
new like.

16

Do German snakes go like: ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß?

12

even on the longest day of the year lasts a game 90 minutes

8

I looked in the candy jar and found something sweeter
than candy.

13

I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE OR JUST A NEW HAIRCUT.

43

And
your point
is?

14

My friend Uwe is getting married in Italy, I forgot the bride's name but 'Negroni' is my new favorite drink.

20

The
"EARTH"
without
"ART"
is just
"EH".

28

Alcohol?

Nah!
That word
is not in my vodkabulary!!

43

It's been too long since we sent a man to the moon.

I have someone in mind...

39

Faster than the speed of light is when you can take a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.

263

The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you're talking to drugs, it's probably too late to say no to them.

99

I do bad things because I listen to music with swears.

10

It's funny how we can remember
the lyrics to hundreds of songs, but can't remember anything when we study for a test.

11

That awkward moment when you see twins fighting and one of them calls the other ugly.

11

Wonders what way you would choose? The one to the left... with nothing right? Or the one to the right... with nothing left?

32

I never say hi to my friends, i just make creepy faces at them from a distance.

6

Each person takes everyone's
sarcasm to a
different level.

26

I haven't been this excited about a Friday, since last Friday.

17

I'm not saying i hate you.

I'm just saying that if you were hit by a train i would be that train.

6

Be what you want, not what others want to see.

5

Live the way you want to be rembered.

5

Be crazy.
Be stupid.
Be weird.
Be whatever.
Because life is too short,
to be anything but happy.

5

As a good citizen I regularly help elderly people cross the street by yelling "Hurry!"

47

Never hit a person lying down - it's a lot easier to kick

24

Do not argue with an idiot.

He will drag you down to his level and beat you with expetience.

9

H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K =
Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge.

20

I may
look like i'm having really deep thoughts.
But 99% of the time i'm just thinking about what food i'm going to eat later.

16

Tequila probably won't fix your problems, but it's worth a shot.

45

I love making people who don't like me hate me more by just being me.

612

Good morning
Sunshine <3

5

I may not be perfect or popular or rich.
But i'm me and if you want me to change, guess what i won't.
It's you who needs too.
I don't need your approval of who i am, and if you can't handle me, then leave.
And go buy a barbie.

- Charlotte Mclean

8

Start where you are.

Use what you have.

Do what can.

6

I'm bad in English.
But i can tell you that:
I Love You

7

I love those random memories that make you smile no matter what is going on in my life.

10

You may be the most beautiful woman in the world, but what would a blind man think?

78

People always say, "what would a famous person be doing on here?"

But for all you know they could have a disguise account.

12

"When you die you're not going to take your car, money, or any on that with you. At the end of the day it's all about finding love."

24

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

19

Procrastination -

A long word that people probably won't even read.

28

KNOWLEDGE
IS POWER

18

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

100

The
difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza •

147

Never
make eye contact while eating banana.

339

recently, i called my mother at 3 am. just to let her know how it is, when she calls me on sunday 1 pm.

74

swiss

+

93

Sex with an ex.

Same as if you shower and wear your dirty underwear again.

223

Everyone's curious

But no one really cares.

178

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

310

I just took a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

271

There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."

539

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.

1546

So many bolds

So many meanings

20

I basically have three hair styles:
- straight
- wavy
- homeless

14

Walking into a dark room and forgetting to turn the light on. Wishing it would automatically turn on so you don't have to go over there and turn it on.

13

A DELETED BROWSER HISTORY SAYS IT ALL.

61

Top ten things men understand about women.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

79

the awkward run you do when someone holds the train door open for you

23

Theres a fine line between flirty and creepy.
And that line is called being good looking.

24

Never give up.
Great things take time.

20

100% of non-
smokers die too.

213

I CAN IGNORE YOU SO HARD, YOU FEEL LIKE THE INTERNET EXPLORER.

54

Here's to another Friday evening of false optimism about the weekend

18

"If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back."

20

Commenting on a post and then later wishing you hadn't because your notifications are filled with comments from that particular post later.

20

$Wrap it in latex or she's getting your paychecks.$

2

Kiss me if i'm wrong...
But dinosaurs still exist right?

26

a single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information one ejaculation reprsents a data transfer of 15875 GB equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro Laptops

just saying in case you did not know

3

You must be tired after everything
we did in my dreams last night.

143

tHis is A VEry SErious teXt post WITH no hidden MEaning.

20

In Greece they say that Girls from Denmark are the easiest to score, because they are allways drunk.

#Fact

3

God may not
have put a smile
on my face,

but that Viking over there certainly did.

7

Yes, I hate you.

What's the problem?

16

Saying you'll do it later and then never coming back to it.

16

hold on to your broken dreams.

37

$Sex is like math. Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you don't multiply!$

51

...und dAn kam bold

39

I study,
I take the test,
I pass it,
I forget what I learned.

13

"Following" someone
on a social network
just makes you
sound like a stalker.

12

Walking somewhere wondering what you were about to do, then remembering after you leave.

9

Bold sex -

Where you make bolds and followers multiply.

14

Can't wait to receive the next

"I'll pray for you"

message.

16

Throwing fertilizer at people that need to grow up.

105

My girlfriend broke up with me she says blah blah blah not paying attention or something I don't know I wasn't listening

26

THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.

416

Try to be less of a fucking piece of shit than you were yesterday.

- Buddha

531

I like the nights.

Some of my best days were nights.

582

Calm down, browser.
I cant make a connection either.

326

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

1135

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

797

And maybe at night when we're all a little too tired and a little too truthful, that's when we see ourselves for who we really are.

564

Ladies, lets take extra long to look stunning for all the guys we'll be ignoring tonight.

590

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

1035

Ego is a race.
And in this race, the winner is the loser.

453

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

564

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

664

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