Czar's Posts

Words shape worlds spun from my mind.

The choices others make vibrate through it's gossamer threads.

I open my mind to allow them the freedom to dream.

Yet dare not allow myself the same.

reposted by siouxz

I want a simple life. I want to get up late, drink coffee and read old books. I also want a spaceship and a pet dragon

Reposted from ErikSmit

ErikSmit and baconbro27 like this

The Problem with Paranoia is...

You're Always Exaggerating

Until you are Right

JodieT likes this

Fun Fact:
The blending of idioms or cliches is called a Malaphor

One of my favourites:

"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it"

#malaphor, @runtime-err0r, #Something, #to, #turn, #into, #a, #competition, @bold

FreakyDeaky likes this

Take your broken heart

Turn it into art

@CarrieFisher, #Quote

springfire, swatchUSA, juneocallagh, JodieT, SourceBlack and sophh like this

You know what rhymes with Thursday?

Vodka.

Reposted from Pesca

Pesca likes this

Melancholia:

The longing of the soul to be Everything and Nothing at the same time

#melancholy

springfire, emiledi77 and Shea like this

Silence too, can be misquoted

Reposted from Querencia

emiledi77 and SourceBlack like this

...We don't know when it's over, but as long as we've got Today,

and you've got a Choice,

Why would you Choose to make it a Bad Day?

@JerryDoyle, #Personally, #We, #Disagreed, #On, #Pretty, #Much, #Anything, #But, #I, #Respect, #A, #Good, #Hardworking, #Man

KosmicKarma, emiledi77, PenSword72 and UserOne like this

i
am
like a
caricature
of the person
who i want to be

Reposted from anonymous

emiledi77, swatchUSA and SourceBlack like this

I'll show you mine if you show me some vodka.

Reposted from FreddieAusmAll

emiledi77, sophh and SourceBlack like this

If you don't swear when you drive then you aren't paying enough attention to the road

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

emiledi77, SourceBlack, sophh, MyM and juneocallagh like this

The secret to Lifelong Motivation:

Learn to hate Life to the point where you want to get revenge on Existence itself

#Best, #Motivational, #Advice, #Ever

emiledi77, PenSword72, SourceBlack and JodieT like this

Feeling lonely?

Dim all the lights and put on a nice horror movie.

Soon enough you won't feel alone anymore.

janem803, emiledi77, PenSword72, kris and SourceBlack like this

Delusions of Grandeur:

If you're Going to have delusions, you might as well go for the really satisfying ones...

#hallucination, #Babylon5, #Marcus

emiledi77, PenSword72, JodieT and juneocallagh like this

"Fuck it" tends to be the last thought I have before making a decision.

Reposted from lbmilton

emiledi77, PenSword72, purplechill and SourceBlack like this

Star Light, Star Bright
First star I see tonight
For that I may,
For that I might,
have this wish another night:

That I may live in, or travel between, the colonies among the stars,
and one day maybe even Beyond

#space, #MyChildhood, #NurseryRhyme

PenSword72, Shea, MyM, meohmy, JodieT, SourceBlack, sophh, UserOne and juneocallagh like this

1996: Stop playing pokemon and go outside.

2016:Stop playing pokemon and come inside.

Reposted from Floki

emiledi77 and naebitnae like this

seeing someone reading a book you love

is seeing a book recommending a person.

Reposted from JodieT

emiledi77, SourceBlack, Deborah.A, JodieT and juneocallagh like this

Me: I want a magical unicorn for Christmas!

Santa: Be realistic.

Me: OK, I want 5 minutes to myself each day to have my coffee hot and pee in peace.

Santa: What colour unicorn would you like?

Reposted from JodieT

emiledi77, SourceBlack, Deborah.A, JodieT and juneocallagh like this

Their love burned with the fiery intesity of a urinary tract infection

#RealStudentEssays, #I'llStopNowIPromise

emiledi77, SourceBlack, meohmy, JodieT, Ziya, juneocallagh, sophh and UserOne like this

Her eyes were like the stars.
Not because they twinkle, but because they were so far apart

#RealStudentEssays

emiledi77, SourceBlack, PenSword72, JodieT, juneocallagh and UserOne like this

The ballerina rose gracefully and extended one slender leg behind her,
like a dog at a firy hydrant

#RealStudentEssays

emiledi77, JodieT, juneocallagh and UserOne like this

When she tried to sing, it sounded like a walrus giving birth to farm equipment

#RealStudentEssays

emiledi77, PenSword72, JodieT, juneocallagh and UserOne like this

That Care homes are just places to wear down someone's will to live, so that they will go quietly..?

#didyouknow, #thepainfultruth

PenSword72, emiledi77, meohmy, juneocallagh and bold like this

Just to be clear:
If you're on my friendslist I care and am interested in what's going on with you.

If you feel you need me to validate your need for attention by having me copy and share your post, I hear the local animal shelter has plenty of puppies for you to cuddle...

PenSword72, UserOne, purplechill and JodieT like this

The risk I took was calculated..

But man,

I'm bad at math..

Reposted from eyck

PenSword72, MyM, sophh and UserOne like this

IT'S GOING TO BE ONE
OF THOSE DAYS.

THE VOICES IN MY HEAD ARE FIGHTING.
MY IMAGINARY
FRIEND IS RUNNING WITH SCISSORS.
AND ONE OF MY
PERSONALITIES WANDERED OFF.

Reposted from flipflap

I've finally accepted the fact that my behavior will never catch up with my age.

Reposted from anonymous

janem803 and JodieT like this

I Now Pronounce You Man and WiFi. And then they lived happily everafter....

Reposted from anonymous

purplechill, UserOne and sudeshna like this

<MwmmmmMmmmmWF>
<Bwwwwmfwf>

<Wwwwwwmmmmbfbf>

<FckFf>

#pillowtalk, #That's, #how, #*I*, #sound, #anyway

sophh and Luenchen like this

I am under no obligation to make sense to you

Reposted from janeh

@janeh, #via, @Boldomatic, #or, #even, #to, #myself, #for, #that, #matter

JodieT and swatchUSA like this

When you have more than you need build a bigger table - not a higher fence.

Reposted from aurelieleah

#lessismore

SourceBlack, Campo, juneocallagh, UserOne and meohmy like this

reposted by Campo

When I was a
baby, an evil fairy cursed me with
an expensive taste and no money.

Reposted from loryane

MyM, JodieT and juneocallagh like this

I Think, Therefore, I Am...
In Deep Shit.

Reposted from Nietzsche_Keen

Luenchen, MyM and makalapua like this

There is no more slippery a slope than the path of least resistance.

Reposted from Nietzsche_Keen

Lirpae.. likes this

Too True to be Beautiful

#sotrue, #dutchisms

PenSword72, SourceBlack, hazelderi, Qball, juneocallagh, meohmy and JodieT like this

I get far too little credit for all the things I don't say.

Reposted from DickeDaumen

PenSword72 likes this

Silence may be Golden,
but I'm damned glad my showers aren't...

#showerthoughts

PenSword72, Qball, MyM, juneocallagh, mng and sophh like this

His:
That kinky Shit he saw on Porntube once, but never has the guts to admit

Hers:
Him, cleaning house and doing the dishes without her asking

#fetish

meohmy, Qball, chipdicks and sophh like this

The more important the emotion is, the fewer words required to express it:

Will you go out with me?

I think I like you.

I care for you.

I love you.

Marry me.

Goodbye.

#J.M.Straczynski

meohmy, JodieT and sophh like this

Pessimystery

When you don't know what's going on, exactly, but you feel like it's going to end really badly

#urbandictionary

PenSword72, UserOne, sophh, purplechill, JodieT, Lirpae.. and MissB like this

Arseistry:
Perfecting the Art of Being an Asshole

Reposted from Czar

#Reposted, #for, #the, #UrbanDictionary

haddock likes this

Where can I buy a selfie stick to beat up people who own selfie sticks?

Reposted from bold

bold and swatchUSA like this

The Sultan was grieving and asked his advisors to bring him something that would make him happy when he was sad, but also sad when he was happy, for he did not wish to forget.

After much deliberation they arrived with a ring engraved with the words:

"This, too, shall pass"

PenSword72 and sophh like this

It's the love of
Right

that lures men to
Wrong

swatchUSA likes this

$Good / \ / \ / \ Cheap ------ Quick Pick Only Two$

#Very, #Few, #of, #my, #employers, #ever, #learned, #this, #lesson

JodieT, juneocallagh and annairie like this

I'm afraid of what I could do when I stop being afraid of what I could do...

#phobia

PenSword72, JodieT, swatchUSA and meohmy like this

I think at 200 words per minute.

When I'm excited, I also talk at 200 words per minute.

Wouldn't it be nice if they were the same 200 words...

#Disjointed, #communicator

UserOne, PenSword72, JodieT, Madly, MissB, sarcaSM and sophh like this

Sometimes I recall Yesterday's Tomorrow,

and I wonder where it went

#myperspective

meohmy, JodieT, Madly, Sparx_Fire, Moon-D and annairie like this

Here, hold my
dignity..

I've got some
sketchy shit to do.

Reposted from JodieT

#I, #solemnly, #swear, #I'm, #up., #to, #no, #good

SourceBlack, UserOne, kcmgarcia, Moon-D, sophh, annairie and juneocallagh like this

Sometimes I wonder if the people that look to me for answers realise I'm just making it up as I go.

Then I wonder how many of the people who inspired me over the years were too.

#Everyone's, #Main, #Motivation, #is, #Fear, #of, #Exposure

UserOne, Madly, dor1316, meohmy, Moon-D, sophh, JodieT and annairie like this

Eight new followers in One day...

I'm so, So sorry guys...

#Where, #did, #I, #go, #wrong?

UserOne, annairie, JodieT and Madly like this

everything i enjoy is illegal, immoral or fattening.

Reposted from annairie

annairie, JodieT, swatchUSA, juneocallagh and Luenchen like this

Exactly how long will you be Promising?

#Reissue, #Small, #correction.

PenSword72, stargater, JodieT and annairie like this

It's a horrid fact I've been so happy since we had a baby there's just nothing left to Bitch abou...

Get thee Behing me, Hellspawn! NO more stories, drinks, or fresh diapers! Just fucking SLEEP so daddy can hurry up and get drunk so I'll Believe that bullcrap I started with!!!

Madly and JodieT like this

Did you fall from Heaven?

Because so did Satan...

#Pickup, #lines, #gone, #wrong, #somehow

SourceBlack, stargater, PenSword72, Madly, annairie, sophh and JodieT like this

Yes, I play games.
I intend to keep it up until I die.

You overpay at a bar, talking with people you don't like about other people playing a game.

We both live pointless lives, but at least I enjoy mine.
Deal with it.

#Get, #over, #yourself, #you, #selfimportant, #prick, #Geek

hazelderi, PenSword72, annairie, A.M., chipdicks and meohmy like this

reposted by hazelderi

Today we parked a Lander on a rock with 3 centers of gravity, 500.000.000 miles away, with a 33cm deviation on a 30 minute delay.

And somehow Kardashian asses are STILL newsworthy

#I, #give, #up., #Please, #send, #me, #a, #new, #world, #to, #live, #in., #Rosetta

upupandaway, PenSword72, Moon-D, annairie, Madly and JodieT like this

Wisdom is...

Knowing the Checklist of 'Being Lost for Dummies' by heart

#Wisdom, #for, #the, #Ages

Moon-D, juneocallagh and JodieT like this

My Teen Age exploded into being like the Big Bang

A very Wet and Sloppy Big Bang

#firstkiss

annairie and juneocallagh like this

Frauen haben nur Probleme mit dem Einparken, weil sie ständig falsche Vorstellungen von 20cm vermittelt bekommen.

Reposted from Luenchen

#Might, #have, #a, #point, #there, @luenchen

Babs_77, Madly, Luenchen and juneocallagh like this

Dance like nobody has eyes

Sing like nobody has ears

Party like you don't need your liver

#Yeah., #that, #is, #some, #STELLAR, #parental, #advice...

marvindfr, LGAC, SourceBlack, hensch, EliseD, haiden_, Chilicheesecat, ZeepBella, annairie, belma. and 12 others like this

reposted by Luenchen, hazelderi, babyydoll and llamabat

Why is it that, when standing on the shoulders of giants, some people's first idea is to take a dump?

#If, #you're, #inspired, #to, #improve, #on, #an, #idea, #Great., #Don't, #just, #cash, #out.

SourceBlack, UserOne, magicalwordsforyou, PenSword72, JodieT and Moon-D like this

Doctors try to heal people. Nurses try to fix people even they have to use the staple gun to hold you together.

Reposted from A.M.

#Word

juneocallagh and GabiGabler like this

#Inspired, #by, @sarcaSM, #;)

LGAC, magicalwordsforyou, juneocallagh, PenSword72, Moon-D, GabiGabler, makalapua, JodieT and meohmy like this

Abs(tin)ence

Makes the wood grow stronger

#Yeah, #I, #KNOW, #I'm, #too, #late, #for, #the, #Wood-jokes

PenSword72, meohmy and Moon-D like this

I was gonna insult you, but then I saw your face.

I'm sorry.
So, so sorry.

#insults

juneocallagh, PenSword72, meohmy and Luenchen like this

Kindly vapourise and don't you DARE condense!

#insults, #Another, #happy, #ancient, #theft, #from, @Moon-D

juneocallagh, PenSword72, Lirpae.. and Moon-D like this

Won't you please climb in you coffin and grow mouldy?

#insults, #Happily, #stolen, #from, @Moon-D, #years, #ago, #;)

juneocallagh, PenSword72 and Moon-D like this

You make me wish the legal term for abortion was 1996 weeks

#insults, #Have, #I, #gone, #too, #far, #this, #time?

PenSword72, internetjunki, Moon-D, Babs_77, sophh and chipdicks like this

- Mother Nature, I'm sorry and beg forgiveness
'Oh, my selfcentered humans'
- We never meant to harm you
'Nature is adaptable; You cannot Really harm Me- You're killing yourselves'
- What?
'You're fucking yourself over and won't be missed'

#In, #response, #to, @sophh, #I'll, #post, #the, #comic, #link, #later

juneocallagh, udid and sophh like this

Writer's Block:

When your imaginary friends won't talk to you

#It's, #been, #a, #while

SourceBlack, MyM, PenSword72, juneocallagh, meohmy, JodieT, sophh and Moon-D like this

Winner of the Most Disturbing Comment Ever:

@Moon-D saying "Joy"

I mean What The everliving Fuck??

juneocallagh and meohmy like this

Happy Tree Friends is a perfectly acceptable alternative kid's show to the Teletubbies, right?

#No, #WAY, #I'm, #exposing, #them, #to, #THAT, #messed, #up, #shit

JodieT likes this

I aim

to

misbehave

#Good, #to, #be, #with, #friends, #who, #know, #your, #crimes

janem803, clouds, UserOne, magicalwordsforyou, GaylrdSprFckr, Moon-D, udid, meohmy and sophh like this

WANTED:

A 'Sarcasm'
to 'Contract Negotiation'
skill converter

#wanted

abe, Moon-D and JodieT like this

Een
roerei
kun
je
niet ontroeren

#Fout, #maar, #waar, #2x

udid likes this

I am not, by nature, a vindictive person.
If you have angered me enough to Affect me, I will Affect you. Brutally, immediately and finally.
If not, I'll take my lesson and move on.

Grudges are pointless because they cost too much energy.

#Because, #people, #ask, #me, #how, #I, #can, #be, #polite, #to, #those, #who've, #wronged

dor1316, Moon-D, abe and DygytAlice like this

People lie far more often than tell the Truth.

Lies of omission are still lies.

#brutalhonesty

PenSword72, UserOne, liarsk, Bonfireboy, abe, meohmy and Moon-D like this

In a world where everyone has 15 minutes of fame,

Let's try something novel:

15 minutes of anonimity

Moon-D and Lirpae.. like this

I am nowhere near as Nice and Good as most people seem to think I am.

I despise their lack of insight.

#Brutal, #Honesty

clouds, UserOne, MyM, udid, annabanan, sophh and Moon-D like this

Lost in Nomansland

Near the corner of Choice and Consequence

#Following, #a, #Bold, #roadmap

PenSword72, Aaftab, meohmy and Moon-D like this

Can't you just Sit there and Be Pretty?

#Why, #on, #Earth, #did, #you, #have, #to, #open, #your, #mouth, #prove, #you're, #emptyheaded?

meohmy, abe and Lirpae.. like this

I think my problem is that I have really fantastic
bad ideas.

Reposted from wallifer

PenSword72, Moon-D, Luenchen and Lirpae.. like this

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it •

Reposted from Lirpae..

dor1316, Lirpae.., sophh and GabiGabler like this

Unemployment

Or:
How I stopped worrying and learned to love the Application Letter

#Back, #on, #that, #treadmill, #are, #we?

chipdicks, JodieT and sophh like this

Ok, this must be a sign I'm finally losing it.

I fucking dreamt Bold last night. It was one of those I Knew them before they were famous kind of dreams.

End of the World level shit, that is...

#I, #blame, #alcohol, #not, #just, #good, #writing, #for, #the, #presence, #of, @NukeSkywalker

chipdicks, JodieT and abe like this

I don't do Midnight snacks.

I, however, excell at All Night 8 course dinners

#midnightsnack

JodieT, Moon-D, sophh and abe like this

I swear if my
memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Reposted from est24601

makalapua likes this

When I was a child I had control nightmares that vanished when I grew up.

When my kid was born they returned as Night Terrors about failing him.

I fear the fucking Night Psychotic Break that I'll have on behalf of my future grandkids...

#It'll, #be, #years, #from, #now, #but, #still

PenSword72, sophh and Moon-D like this

She spied in the corner not a shadow, but a deeper shade of black within the darkness, some unspeakable clot of menace that lingered on the edge of her memories and drove a spike of terror into her heart and mind.

It whispered her name.

Reposted from sophh

abe likes this

One person's Angel,
is another's Demon

janem803, hensch, UserOne, wenwen, tre711, maryglary, Trixinfo, country_turtle, abe, udid and 5 others like this

reposted by Moon-D, bakaboo0986 and Diana_93

I drink

You drank

We DRUNK!

SourceBlack, sophh, Luenchen, crishoni4280, lizz3r and Moon-D like this

Mercy is the mark of a Great Man

*Stab*

Guess I'm just a Good man

*Stab*

Well... I'm allright...

#Firefly, #Capt, #Mal, #Inspired, #by, @sophh

GabiGabler and sophh like this

A man that plays video games knows how to use his fingers for all types of magic.
Said every girl that's had a orgasm from fingers...

Reposted from ccz6ih

Lirpae.. and Moon-D like this

I'm in shape.

round is a shape.

Reposted from aussi-girl90

merel_1307 and Luenchen like this

On the plus side, now I know the answer to the question:

I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?

#and, #the, #answer, #is...

PenSword72, sophh, Moon-D and Babs_77 like this

Brimming with emotions I can never vocalize

I know I could just talk about them

I just don't know if, should I start, I'll be able to stop

sophh likes this

Procrastinating so I don't have time to do something I'll only end up regretting.
I'll thank me later.

I hope...

PenSword72 likes this

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

You evil, perverted psychopath!

Reposted from Moon-D

Growing old is
mandatory.

Growing up is optional.

Reposted from asadansari154

optimists claim that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.

pessimists are scared that might be true.

Reposted from ernstrose

ccz6ih and sophh like this

Intelligence is like a Four Wheel Drive truck

It's not going to make you unstoppable

It just sort of tends to get you stuck in more remote places

ccz6ih and udid like this

I need bacon, cheese, eggs, sex and coffee, in random order

I'll start with coffee and hope someone brings me the rest

Reposted from anonymous

dor1316 and udid like this

The second hardest thing in the world is Making Choices

The hardest thing is Living with them

PenSword72, sophh and Luenchen like this

Nothing quite as cathartic as packing up your birth home.

Fifty years of Life and Love in One moving truck, Three welfare trucks, and Nine car loads for the children.

Painfully important, and yet I'd burn all the mementos if it would mean Both my parents would get to move into the new house together.

If not eternal, Love should end in a blaze of glory, not snuff out in a whimper and echoes of memories.

sophh likes this

I want to go back to the time I wasn't broken.

I'm just not sure I was even born back then.

locupleto, Deborah.A, Ziya, dor1316, SourceBlack, UserOne, steffymhs1, sophh, Moon-D, udid and 1 other like this

reposted by SourceBlack and michiko3010

It's easy to disregard Nothingness because there is no thought available to capture it.

There is no metaphor that fits because, by definition, once the Nothingness becomes tangible, it ceases to exist.

-Josh Worth, Pixelspace

PenSword72, Lirpae.. and Moon-D like this

Failure leads to creativity.

There is nothing more inspiring than a massive fuck up.

Reposted from Moon-D

I'm on the Long, Slow road from Bullshit to Reality

PenSword72 and Moon-D like this

Like cigarette packs Everything should come with a label that says:

LIFE KILLS

I recognise my own eyes in my kid and think three things:

1) How did the little fucker manage to steal them?

2) What the hell am I seeing this with?

3) Damn I breed them Well!

dor1316, sarcaSM and Moon-D like this

I wonder at which point I will legally be allowed to use torture as a teaching tool.

Since my trainees are certainly using it as a learning tool...

ccz6ih likes this

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

Reposted from Nanoolsen

Babs_77 and ThomasBlom like this

Considering our son would be a mix of Us,
I knew 3 things:

He'd be:
- Tiny
- Furry and
- Angry

Looking at that list I realised this is how Mogwai are born...

sophh, Lirpae.. and _Nathalie_ like this

Try Again.
Fail again.
Fail better.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

@Moon-D

Moon-D, _Nathalie_ and NukeSkywalker like this

So I'm a dad.

Now what?

PenSword72 and Babs_77 like this

The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains".

Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

I feel as if the % of battery life left on my phone when I leave work, is an accurate depictment of how productive I was.

Phone battery reads:
85% very productive
50% ehh... okay day
20% well... there's always tomorrow!

Reposted from MissB

I write.
You wrong.

Reposted from scottluper

PenSword72, merel_1307 and bold like this

Women spend more time thinking about what men are thinking than men actually spend time thinking.

Reposted from anonymous

dor1316 likes this

I`d have given you a more impressive gift if you weren`t already sleeping with me.

Reposted from anonymous

STOP PRESSING REPLAY ON THE THINGS THAT NEED TO BE DELETED FROM YOUR LIFE

Reposted from TriniDady

Lirpae.. and _Nathalie_ like this

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning Satan shudders and says, "Oh no...she is awake!"

Reposted from IO_N_O

I just realised...

All those hours I hate?

They fall during the week- on all the days that contain the letters D, A and Y

sophh, mjf, Lirpae.. and Babs_77 like this

I would like to apologise to anyone I have NOT offended so far...

Please be patient

I'm sure I will get to you shortly

LGAC, PenSword72, MyM, satan, louisevhouten and Lirpae.. like this

reposted by louisevhouten

leave my head
or
start paying rent

Reposted from sarcaSM

UserOne, Roel, sarcaSM and Babs_77 like this

The most Ominous message I have *ever* received in Any social medium:

NSA is now following you

@nsa, #BigBrotherISWatching

SourceBlack, Nietzsche_Keen, UserOne, chipdicks, nsa, iceman65, kj55, hebdifescht, kolelo, nathii and 7 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic, Aujie, philosophicum, iPhaze, DJSelfMade, yoichinz, teddybaer, iceman65, misfatima, felice_007 and 1 other

Employment

IS working for me!

:D

Babs_77 and _Nathalie_ like this

1) Dream
2) Consider
3) Plan
.
..
...
4) Procrastinate

#BestDelayedPlans

_Nathalie_ and bold like this

The One thing that turns ALL of Europe vicious, vitriolic and gay, if only for a few nights a year:

The Eurovision Rigged Festival!

#PoliticallyIncorrect

mjf, aoibh, _Nathalie_ and louisevhouten like this

I aim

to

misbehave

Haarlem, Netherlands

#Firefly

HeresyIsWeird likes this

Life is all about Ass...

You are either:
- Covering it
- Kicking it
- Kissing it
- Busting it
- Laughing it off
- Trying to get a piece of it
- Behaving like one

or Living with One!

sophh and louisevhouten like this

Bevrijdingspop 2013

Succesfully dodging bagsearches for alcohol and controlled substances for 20 years ;)

How can we achieve enlightenment

when the Truth is so poorly lit?

- T. Steelman

Common sense;
Not a blessing, but a curse.

Why?

You have to deal with everyone who Doesn't have it...

PenSword72, UserOne, dor1316 and Asummerloved like this

reposted by Asummerloved

Some people say your body is a temple.

I say: Fuck thinking small...

Eat and drink your way to a Hedonist's Cathedral!

louisevhouten likes this

Arseistry:
Perfecting the Art of Being an Asshole

reposted by Czar

Al
l
he
i s
i s
he r s
A m
i
h im
Alzheimer's

ZoJ likes this

The brain is the Most outstanding organ known to Man

It works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

From Before you are even born...

...until you fall in Love...

nwallinn and A.M. like this

What trumps a Queen?

Well played Ratzy/Benedict!

In a brilliant case of Abdication-Thunder stealing we learn that it's:

Rock-Paper-Pope-Queen

Why do Sales Sharks always assume Operational Diesels to be dense?

If Tetris has taught me anything its that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear •

Reposted from Lirpae..

louisevhouten likes this

World Endings suck so badly they only happen once in a while.

Week Ends are SUCH a hit they sell out every week!

aoibh, Lirpae.. and bold like this

Life may not be the party we had hoped for

But while we're here we might as well dance!

janem803, dor1316, bee_younique and bold like this

If you're young and you don't vote Left, you have no heart...

If you're old and you don't vote Right, you have no sense...

Or do you? ;)

Unemployment

Isn't working
for me...

sarcaSM likes this

reposted by sarcaSM

Two things are infinite:

The Universe and Human Stupidity;

and I'm not sure about the universe.
-A.E.

PenSword72, JodieT, sophh and Ela200 like this

Sick and Tired
of being sick and tired

dor1316 likes this

Happy New Year!

May the Best of 2012 be the Worst of 2013!

louisevhouten likes this

Inside every cynic is a disappointed idealist

- George Carlin

PenSword72, dor1316, sophh, fruitgarden and guido like this

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy.

No man does.
That is his.
- Oscar Wilde

PenSword72 and guido like this

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves
- Abe Lincoln

louisevhouten likes this

The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination

Sarcasm is:
The language of smart, depressed people.

sirskitten1, bulliho, perellano, LGAC, UserOne, Authlander, eyck, clouds, Crickets5, Raeca and 13 others like this

reposted by noemianina, dor1316, Crickets5 and LinChoen

NyQuil:
I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green:
Merry Fucking Christmas!

mjf and hemko like this

'Was it true?'
-It was all true.
'Even the lies?'
-ESPECIALLY the lies...

louisevhouten likes this

"You're so negative"

No, I always hope for the best.
Experience made me expect the worst.

janem803, SourceBlack, PenSword72, poptankar, dor1316, 7hij5 and hemko like this

A dirty mind is a joy forever

bold likes this

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.

Teach a man how to fish, and
the lazy fucker can feed YOU!

If you're falling off a cliff

You might as well try to fly

Lirpae.. likes this

I don't mind falling.

I mind the sudden stop at the end.

Lirpae.. likes this

if only closed minds came with closed mouth

Reposted from karinasasek

dor1316 and sophh like this

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy •

Reposted from anonymous

my sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think i'm stupid.

Reposted from anonymous

dor1316 and merel_1307 like this

bad decisions make good stories

Reposted from Boldomatic

Biting's excellent!
It's like kissing, but there's a winner.

sophh likes this

There's something that doesn't make sense.
Let's go and poke it with a stick.

PenSword72 and Boldomatic like this